the inti in my popiah

kelam dunia

2010-07-03T23:43:00.003+08:00

kau tak adil.

kau sekat segala-gala nya.

semua nya kau kata kan tidak.

hanya tidak yang boleh kau ungkapkan.

tidak kah kau tahu itu adalah cara aku untuk merasai nikmat hidup?

nikmat hidup yang tak seberapa ini?

yang sangat 'daif' jika nak dibanding kan dengan manusia-manusia lain.

jadi ini lah cara ku.

itu pun di sekat dan di kawal.

kau tahu betapa pilu dan sedih nya hati ini bila kau katakan tidak kepada segala-galanya?

betapa hancur nya hati dan jiwa ini?

seolah-olah kau ambil semua diri ku dan simpan kan ia di dalam balang kaca.

seringkali hati ini meronta-ronta untuk memberontak,

tapi itu semua tidak mungkin kan?

aku tahu. kerana apa?

kerana mereka adalah mereka, dan takkan berubah.

walau tangisan darah mengalir.

jadi apa yang boleh aku lakukan sekarang?

aku sudah sedar dan tahu situasi dan hakikat tidak boleh berubah,

apa saja yang boleh di lakukan?

apa? mengalah? atau sebalik nya?

masih menjadi persoalan itu semua.

aku letih penat memikirkan nya.

sekarang aku hanya merasakan diri ku dicuri.

di sekat itu perkara biasa, aku sudah lali.

tapi kini yang terbaru, di curi.

lepas ini apa pulak ya?

aku tertanya-tanya.

sampai bila?

aku takut aku tak mampu terus kan lagi.

memories?

2010-07-01T19:35:00.003+08:00

memories, i'm sure all of us have at least one.

be it good memories nor bad memories. either way it is still remembered.

good memories are preserve through pictures, home videos, what else? (i am not very good with these sort of things, my apologies.)

bad memories? aha, this is something i am expert (can say lahh) on.

BUT,

as time passed and i grew more mature, i learned that memories are something you will stuck with forever.

talking based on experience, no matter how far you go, how fast you run, sooner or later, you will come to one point where you just don't want to run anymore.

enough is enough. :)

i spent most of my time running until i don't realized what am i missing.

then again, i always believe that everything happen for reasons.

*credits to Nor Asilah Asmadi*

FACEBOOK is where i found all my childhood friends.

thank you for tagging me in all those almost forgotten memories.

i don't have much pictures when i was little.

so i have to rely on friends n such. heh.

what a mess i am back then! but somehow my heart felt warm whenever i look at this picture.

(T_____T)

my pathetic first attempt!

2010-06-30T20:37:00.006+08:00

never in my life that I felt such doubt in myself. as for those who know me well, I am not a 'doubtful' person in any way (ohh soo i said). not just that I felt that doubt, i also felt the intimidation and the eerie feeling of unable to do such thing. before I go on and on (blaberring) about this piece of shit, I am talking about MY FIRST ATTEMPT OF DRIVING AFTER I OFFICIALLY RECEIVED MY LICENCE. one pathetic attempt may I add.

yes I know I am considered lame to write about this as there are people who already wrote about this like 3 or 4 years ago. what can I do, I am late bloomer for heaven sake! plus, there much more to life than just to take that freaking dreadful driving classes and tests! Pak Cik Is, thank you for the driving lessons! ;)

most people took their driving licence when they were 18 or 17 even 16 years old. but i took mine now (i am 19). why? lets just say that i have some issues with responsibilities. i mean, when i finished my high school, i don't even trust myself whether or not I can leave the car that i'm driving securely lock or I will not lose the car keys. even now I don't get to hold or keep my house keys since I already lost it for 2 times. i think my dearest father gave up on me upon this matter. Sorry Babah! i guess i am born this way? :D

anyway, the story goes like this, 3days ago, i officially received my P licence. therefore it means that my dad also officially let me drive. today, when i came back from college ....

(at my parent's office)

Babah: Mana lesen P kau? (with a smirk on his face.)

me: (searching through my pile of junk in the bag) err? nahh.

Babah: hmm. official dah laa nie?

me: duhhhh.

Babah: then, go and fetch Adik from school.

me: ohh? which school?

Babah: he's in bdr tasik selatan for his soccer practice.

me: (jaw dropped!) my parent's office is in bukit jalil, my little brother's school is in Bdr tasik selatan. not that far actually but it is far me whom is still fresh to this vicious driving world! (fine i am being dramatic.)

babah: why? kan dah ada lesen?

me: (with a doubtful but trying to cover up myself tone) fine, lets go, you are coming with me.

babah: alright. lets go.

overall the journey was okay (according to my dad) but according to me it was CRAZY! this is where my frustration and doubt came in. i even feel disappointed with myself! i hate it when i feel this way. really hate it.

persoalan nya sekarang: can i drive or can i not? (T_____T)

what will you do for the sake of love?

how far would you go for love?

will you go beyond your own expectations and abilities?

will you?

i am blessed to have found someone very special that fills the blank in my heart.

thank you for everything that you have done.

annoying orange

2010-06-21T20:15:00.002+08:00

my lecturer, Mr. Philip said in class after our (me and Zaza Jamil's presentation the other day), if you walk like a lion, roar like a lion, then you are a lion. therefore, if you look like a teacher, talk like a teacher, then you are a teacher. it is very inspiring if you asked me. ;)
ANNOYING ORANGE.

my friends said i am similar to this orange dude. am i?

heads up!

2010-06-20T15:40:00.012+08:00

alright people, i'm gonna start blogging once again. this is for real. i need blogging therapy. yes, i just realized. bummer. well then, where to start? oh wait, i hate blogging this way. =___=

i just started my degree year (kinda). yes, i manage to not to extend my foundation. currently in my first year, first semester in English Language and Communication degree. this course demands a lot from me. i'm serious. but for a nerd like me, i dun mind. :D
this semester's subjects includes: Bilingualism (one tough class but very interesting) ; Expository Writing (the lecturer is very cunning, like seriously!) ; Principle and Practice of Language Teaching (A.W.E.S.O.M.E! it made me thinking of a career in teaching field. what do you guys think?) ; and last but not least Study Skills and Employability (oh so-so)
bye bye PSP, hello Ipod Touch. thank you oo beloved mother!
backpack to class! then again, i have no problem with it since i am a nerd. ;)
i have a cool sushi designed Bros water bottle.
display my relationship status with a certain someone (ehem ehem muhammad Ezuan) only because i lost a friggin bet! (or is it? ;P)
stuffed myself with whole lot of good food and succesfully gained some weight.
i miss my mushy head Jesmyn Tan. i hope she's doing fine. :(
rekindle relationship with old friends.
i am hiding all my previous post as they are crappy as ever and to indicate a new beginning. oh so i said.
trying to boost my cgpa! i have a very SAD pointer last time. shame on you Liyana!
celebrated zaza jamil's birthday! here some pictures!

aku tidak current dan sangat oblivion jadi maafkan aku sekiranya aku tak faham atau tak tahu apa yang sedang anda semua perkatakan. tapi, aku sedang mencuba.
i cant leave without facebook. actually, i accidently dumped my blog because of facebook. damn you evil social networking site!
friends are like stars, you dont always see them but they are always there.
i did something beyond my expectation. i dun even know i am capable to do such thing. O__O tak sangka but aku sayang dia dan full stop.

i have a big round head. proof as follow: sedang mencuba alternatif tudung.sebab? aku selalu bangun lambat dan tak sempat iron/pakai tudung biasa. dun blame me, blame ucsi, this semester my class are all in the morning. =__=

i am not random, i just like to relate stuff.

i think its enough blabs for one post. till then people. please expect more from me. :DD

have a good day all! *tilt hat*

byebye foundy!

2010-04-29T20:25:00.006+08:00

dulu di sini lah tempat segala nya ku curah.

perasaan (ini memang byk lahh, konon nya hidup penuh drama)

buah fikiran (pathetic attempt to talk of 'serious' issues)

daily life (masa masih di bangku sekolah)

tapi sekarang?

hati masih ingin berblogging tapi masa jadi halangan.

:)

anyway, my last post was 1st April 2010, and today is already 29th April. whoah, it have been AWHILE since i last blogged.

finals exam Semester Three are over. so, it is goodbye to Foundation and hello degree! excited!
i'm already 19! T___T
kini sedang menikmati 'cuti' yg UCSI 'generous' sgt beri.
i have a new pair of black 8inch peeptoe as a 'happy grow up a lil bit' day from him. :|
new haircut
apa lagi yg NEW ya?
new rack for my comics (all thanks to Jesmyn Tan, Zaza Zahar, Zaza Jamil, Sashareen Omar)
new attitude?

a very Expensive DIY photo album!
:D

i lalove these people very dearly!

selamat datang April

2010-04-01T11:59:00.003+08:00

pejam celik pejam celik tiba sudah kita di bulan April. bulan 4 dari 12bulan dalam setahun. cepat pula masa berlalu. terasa singkat benar. sedar tak sedar, aku hampir mengakhiri tempoh Foundation. itu pun kalau aku tidak FLUNK any of my subject untuk semester ini. if God willing, i'll make it through. i was browsing through Facebook and found this;

APRIL BORN

amiable. diplomatic.
always ready to help others.
adventurous.
great sense of humor.
loves to enjoy life.
totally active and restless.
more emotional than practical.
a good motivator.
spiritual and God fearing.
good looking and sexy.
faithful lover.
hasty decision maker.
brainy and clever.

maybe some of these facts are true and definitely some of it are totally bogus. i mean, come on. active? nahh. adventurous? all i know of adventurous is adventure tongue. no fear to try new food. that is more me.

a warm welcome to the month of April. i hope you'll be better than your brother March. :)

till then~

a hectic week ?

2010-03-28T10:20:00.011+08:00

jari berdetap detap pada keyboard colourful yg perlu ditukar tak lama lagi sambil muzik indah bermain di Realplayer. apa ye nk ditulis? hmm.

another hectic week passed by.

HC final forum done! i think we did quite good. too bad Jes cant be with us.
Jes suffered from TDS (temporary Deaf syndrome) and have to go for a minor operation. =__= get well soon!
spend the whole week with my Lalalove! sebab last week dia training petang. haha.
masih tiada berita dari si Anonymous.
screamed at my brother's face and felt very guilty yet satisfied at the end. (whatta?)
belajar perkara baru. *wink!
bace Hatiku di Harajuku for the countless of time.
masih belum pergi amik ujian undang-undang driving. study pun belum lagi!
final exam is just around the corner.
last sem cgpa like dummy. not even 3. whattahell! all because my supp paper. huwaa!
this sem need to bounds back!
next sem (insyaallah) akan msuk degree. wahhhhhhhh!
pergi menjenguk ke pesta hot air balloon.

the group!
brian, sinly, anne, edmund,sasha, zazaa, angeline, zaza, panda, sue fei, me.
not in the picture: Jes.

our class!

the video!
the story behind this video.

putrajaya

tunggu kedatangan ku.

that's all for now. toodles!

kisah si Anonymous

2010-03-14T14:16:00.002+08:00

it has been awhile since i last blog.

alot had happened during the period of me MIA-ed from this blog space of mine.

sometimes, i even asked myself, "am i lying to myself? or its just another one of my randomness that kicks in?" nonetheless, i'm trying my best to keep things as they are.

no words from Anonymous any more. sad? yeah, kinda. Anonymous have been a very good friend. it is a shame for me to lose such a good friend. the 'best' part of all this is, i dont even know whether if i did something wrong or said something wrong. then again, world doesnt revolves around me only. it might have been of Anonymous PMS-ing. i dont know. i really hate it when i dont have a clue about what's going on. it gives me the chills of revisiting the past. uhh. the ugliness of THAT past. [p/s: if u are reading this Anonymous, i just want you to know that i dont want to lose a very good friend like yourself.]

moving on ~

i finally got to watch Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief! hahaha. all thanks to Zaza Jamil who downloaded it for me. she went all the way to MMU. but of course she doesnt do it on the sole purpose of me, she also gained benefit from the trip. also, she downloaded My Sister's Keeper for me. but sadly, the movie was quite differ from the novel itself. the ending. but, the movie made me tears yet again as the novel did. *clap clap* a piece of artwork that is well crafted yet well written! *standing ovation! to Jodi Picoult*

me and mates figured out a way to enjoy leisure but at low cost. haha. sharing is caring!

well, till then fellow earth residents! ciao~

shoelace bukan sekadar shoelace

2010-03-10T19:40:00.008+08:00

i'm writing this while chewing Shoelace that Jes bought for me. i always eat the strawberry flavoured ones but the cola and apple flavoured also not as bad. that's why in life we need to have guts to try something new. what we got to lose? who knows, we might find something we love at the end of the journey. see, Shoelace candy just as not as simple as candy. it's how you see it. perhaps, life is also likewise. but then, who am i to even talk about life. i havent live this life as much. for god sake, i'm not even 19 yet. what are my rights to talk about life. i'm just a simple girl that still struggling to find who am i, what am i and how am i going to survive all these.

ohh right thee then, lets put all that aside, shall we?

well, highlights of the week, my dearest Jesmyn Tan just turned 19! woohoo!

what we did for her? *hehe*

we surprise her for lunch at Chilies. well, she thought she's on a date with the boyfie. actually, the surprise was quite normal BUT the whole process before the surprise is UN-normal. i merely gone insane!

present: a long brown purse from Ripcurl (as she wanted.) upon purchasing this present, i had to run like i never ran before. note, i am not a running person. in fact, i am not any person for those vigorous activities. =__=
Sasha made a photo album for her. DIY. as we all know how she love DIY stuff. with lotsa pictures. provided by me.
steal Edmund's the boyfie) number from her cell. ooh, that's my job. took it when we were at Jes place, on final individual HC presentation.
both zaza's figure out the place, invite people and all.
then, on the day itself, Ed's car broke down, then we ended up loitering around Midvalley while waiting. but in the end, everything turn out OK.
have a post party at Neway with chocolate session. ber lalala sampai tekak berdarah. huhu.

here are some pictures:

group pictures at Chilies

nampak macam soo kesian rite? haha.
we are waiting for Jes.

post party!

birthday girl looked soo happy.

selamat hari lahir Jes!
mwaaaaa. love u to bits lahh!

my dearest psp, may you'll have a better life with ur new owner.
i don't want to, but i have to.
you have been more than just a gaming console. you have been with me in my darkest hours. be at my side when i needed no human beings to even talked to me. thank you.
btw, mine was the white one. the black one is my lil brother's.

muzik teman di kala kusut

2010-03-07T12:36:00.002+08:00

WHEN I LOOK AT YOU : Miley Cyrus

Everybody needs inspiration
Everybody needs a song
A beautiful melody
When the night's are long
Cause there is no guarantee
That this life is easy
Yeah, when my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I, I look at you
When the waves are flooding the shore and I
Can't find my way home anymore
That's when I, I, I look at you
When I look at you
I see forgiveness
I see the truth
You love me for who I am
Like the stars hold the moon
Right there where they belong and I know
I'm not alone
Yeah, when my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I, I look at you
When the waves are flooding the shore and I
Can't find my way home anymore
That's when I, I, I look at you
You appear just like a dream to me
Just like kaleidoscope colors that
Cover me
All I need
Every breath, that I breathe
Dontcha know?
You're beautiful
Yeah yeah..
When the waves are flooding the shore
And I cant find my way home anymore
Thats when I,
I I look at you
I look at you
Yeah yeah..
Oh oh..
You appear just like a dream to me

OST of the upcoming movie The Last Song. a brilliant piece of work by Nicholas Sparks. from novel to filmscreen i am really looking forward to it.

note to self

2010-03-06T12:19:00.002+08:00

for the time being, i just need to keep reminding myself of the positive.
how great it is, right on the time when i am about to really change, it happen.
on the bright side, nasib baik. hmm.
God is trying to tell me something. i just know it. but what?
mayday mayday mayday!
i need MYSELF back stat!
current mode: AKU, SAYA, SELF, INDIVIDUAL and ME.

unamed

2010-03-03T22:17:00.002+08:00

AKU HANYA MANUSIA BIASA
YANG MUNGKIN SEDIKIT kks !!!!

hate yuu!

at times it is fun when you're not number one. also, at times, it SUCK big time when you don't even know what number you are at.

thank yuu, Jamilah Zahirah Jamil.

2010-03-02T20:10:00.004+08:00

hello fellow earth-residents!!!!!
today is just full with love love loooooove!!!
Zazaa J just came back from a short trip to Vietnam and bought us these awesome bangles! wow! i LOVE bangles! and it fits me! yayy! it's kinda hard to find cute bangles that fits me nicely.

*Zazaa, thank yuu! mmuahhh!*
photo, kudos to Mushy-head-Jes!
mine is pink and Jes's is the purple one!

i was at the train station at 7.10 for our morning Nasi Lemak session.
but unfortunately, Sha woke up late and had a really bad headache so she cant pick us up.
but no worries, she's fine now. yayy!
while me and Zazaa killing our time doing nothing and waiting for the less crowded UCSI shuttle, ewan came along to join us. then around 7:45ish, this is what we saw!
(please refer to the picture above!)
WHATTAHECK rite? damn ramai orang!
the problem is, the enter place thingy that opened during that time is only ONE. freakin ONE!
somehow it looked like something i saw in Baraka before. the one when the separate the baby chicken in factories. funny!
kinda dumb if you'd asked me. because you see, the LRT people obviously knew that there's alot of people using this station (as it is an interchain station for ERL and also KTM) but still they only open one place. thank god they open all four ticketing counters. *sigh*
kesian mereka yang nak pergi kerja itu.

Sashareen and Liyana
it have been long since i last hang out with Sasha alone.
i realized this as i was making my photo-collage (i'm in the mood of DIY, curse you Jesmyn Tan!) i realized that i have the least picture of me and Sasha alone. always with the other three camerafreaks. hehe.
then after helping Mr.Hellis with his Public Speaking class we went to Midvalley to *ehem-ehem* for *uhuk uhuk*. fyi, i went to Midvalley twice that day! wth!

anyway, as i were saying, today is just love love love!
i've been cuckoo all weekend and finally today i found my ketenangan!
*laughs!*
it is soo nice not being KKs anymore. undivided attention from him. i like i like!

toodles, people!

for you i will

2010-02-28T15:17:00.006+08:00

perhaps not many of my friends aware of my obsession towards Asam Pedas. but i bet my high school friends know. esspecially Zabri. kan kan? :D anyway, my cousin (kak Nor who is a very good cook) from Singapore come for a visit yesterday. and bring us this scrumptious cuisine! my favourite Asam Pedas with a hint of black Pepper! the heavan-nity of this food is added when it is cook with ikan pecuk which a kind of fish that really hard to find in KL markets. for me, Asam Pedas is best eaten when it's raining outside and not be eaten instantly. i mean, the flavour is much much morw awesome when it is eaten the day after it is cook. when all the flavour have come together like really really come together. wahhhhhhh! i feel soo alive talking about this! for you i will do anything Asam Pedas! *drools*

to Zabri, ini lah dia Asam Pedas yang aku selalu cakap tuu.
:D

did i ever tell you guys that my dad's koi fish buat upacara mati beramai-ramai? it happened like a few weeks ago. about 8 of them died due to something like Ammonia poison. i was like WHATT? Ammo-what? uhh, chemistry! but today, we went koi fish shopping near Jalan Pasar. :D my dad bought like 6 fishs to replace those were dead. there even silver koi fishs! really white wye! and ooh ya, i officially enrolled to a driving school. hmm. thrill? not really. why? don't ask.

*i'm in need of cash. thinking of letting go of my psp. anyone interested?*

terkenang

2010-02-28T01:48:00.002+08:00

i cant sleep. it's 1:50AM. i don't know why that recently i have this weird flashbacks of those high school times. it's messing with my head yet my heart. i hate it.

wait! i'm not saying i don't want to remember those time. the past is who we are today. it's just that sometimes, it tend to be merely overwhelming. and it's not a good thing.

well, i am randomly cant sleep and trying to find stuff to do till i feel sleepy. dear mp3 is plug-in to my ears.

hmm. let see. ooh, let's play 'mine'. click ...

*music play*

You know I Can't Smile Without You,
I Can't Smile Without You,
I can't laugh
and I can't sing,
I'm findin' it hard to do anything.
You see, I feel sad when you're sad,
I feel glad when you're glad,
If You only knew what I'm go ing through,
I just Can't Smile Without You.
You came along just like a song
and brightened my day,
Who'd've believe that you were part of a dream
Now it all seems light years away.
And now you know I Can't Smile WIthout You,
I Can't Smile Without You,
I can't laugh and I can't sing,
I'm finding it hard to do anything.
You see, I feel sad when you're sad,
I feel glad when you're glad,
If you only knew what I"m going through,
I just can't smile.
Now some people sa y happiness takes so very long to find.
Well I'm finding it hard leaving your love behind me.
And you see,
I Can't Smile Without You,
I Can't Smile Without You,
I can't laugh
and I can't sing,
I'm findin' it hard to do anything.
Y ou see, I feel sad when you're sad,
I feel glad when you're glad,
If You only knew what I'm going through,

I just Can't Smile Without You

of all the awesome song i pick t be in 'mine' why must this song came out? at this time? goodness gracious! again, down the memory lane. *hey you! i did not have Starbucks ever since. let's have some when the time comes ok? (if you're reading, but i highly doubt it.)* anyway, do any of you recognize this song? hmm. it's Barry Manilow - Cant Smile Without You.

mungkinkah aku rindu?

jiwa manusia

2010-02-27T22:56:00.003+08:00

NAFSU?

KEINGINAN?

manusia sering kali terperangkap dek dua elemen ini. aku juga, seperti manusia lain yang tak pernah terkecuali untuk jatuh ke gaung nafsu dan keinginan ini. terlalu banyak nafsu yang lantas telah menimbulkan pelbagai keinginan. keinginan untuk memiliki. memiliki apa? bermacam-macam. material, kasih sayang, perhatian, penerimaan, dan apa saja. lumrah hidup, satu masalah timbul, walaupun nafsu membuak-buak inginkan sesuatu, adakah kita sentiasa akan dapat apa yang kita inginkan itu? tentu nya tidak. kenapa begitu? mari lah kita bersama-sama renungkan kembali mengapa keinginan itu disekat. aku percaya, semua perkara terjadi di atas sebab. bak kata orang putih bermata biru,"everything happens for reasons." walaupun begitu, adakah kita dapat lihat sebab itu? tidak semua golongan boleh berfikir dengan sebegitu rasional. aku tahu, kerana aku lah golongan itu (at times.) aku selalu berharap agar aku boleh jadi golongan yang sentiasa rasional tanpa selalu dipengaruhi emosi tidak stabil. tapi, harapan tinggal harapan kerana it is easier said than done.

sayang? atau sayang?

2010-02-27T10:17:00.004+08:00

“sayang, sayang sayang sayang takk? Sayang sayang sayang.”

Banyak kan perkataan sayang itu di ulang-ulang dalam satu ayat? If you ask me, it’s kinda annoying. Okay, apart from that. I am writing this upon the courtesy of Anonymous, very good friend of mine as I mentioned in my past post.

Apekah yang tersirat di sebalik perkataan ‘sayang’ itu? Adakah ia sekadar perkataan semata-mata yang boleh diucap oleh sesiapa pun? Atau, ia adalah lebih dari itu? I’m sure this must came across your mind before. Satu lagi persoalan yang melibatkan ‘sayang’ ini, apekah sebenar nya konsep sayang itu? Wujudkah konsep sayang yang definite or sayang yang variety?

Mungkin kata-kata aku sekarang tak dapat diterima dek akal kalian. Tapi, what am i trying to say here is, wujudkah di dunia yang kita hidup sekarang ini sayang yang definite dan sayang yang variety? Apa itu sayang yang definite? Apakah pula sayang yang variety?

Maksud aku terhadap frasa ‘sayang yang variety’ adalah, perasaan sayang yang mempunyai level yang membezakannya. Contoh, aku sayang Eika, Zabri, Ghazmil, Jesmyn, Zaza, Sasha, dan Zazaa (sayang mereka sebagai sahabat), aku juga sayang Mama, Babah, Along dan Adik (sayang mereka sebagai keluarga). tapi dua-dua pun sayang. Cuma, mestilah berbeza tahap dan level perasaan sayang tu terhadap dua kategori ini. Tapi lain pula si Anonymous kata, dia kata, sayang is sayang (sayang yang definite). Macam, makan nasi, makan ayam, makan donut, tapi semua pun makan. Makan tetap makan. Boleh terima takk apa yang Anonymous kata ni? Sebab, pada aku, memang lah makan is makan tapi bila kita makan, sama tak rasa kenyang makan nasi dengan rasa kenyang bila kita makan donut? Berbeza kan? Tapi sebab aku sayang Anonymous, aku terima apa yang Anonymous kata. (terima tak semesti nya sokong.) And because i believe that everyone have the right to say what they’re thinking.

Moving on ...

erkk? my brain is currently slumped! wait wait, please don't crash baby! i need you now! my Lord! uhh! lemme take a deeeeeeeep breath ..... i give up! better luck next time!

~toodles~

kisah final individual presentation HC

2010-02-26T18:41:00.004+08:00

sangat semangat membuat visual aid untuk presentation.
no kidding! i am not good with these sort of things but suddenly rajin semacam wanna do all these. weird but true. these picture are evidences!

taa-daa! siap! not soo bad huh? *blushed*

on 25th february 2010, FINAL INDIVIDUAL PRESENTATION FOR HUMAN COMM. OUR LAST CHANCE! whoah! no pressure there. yearrite! hmm. the topic was, to persuade. we are needed to do a presentation that will persuade our audience to believe whatever crap we are saying. the choices were, we could sell products, invite audience to join associations or club, and anything that could persuade others. therefore i choose to invite my audience to join an activity club. credits to Ms. Zazaa Jamil because she help me when i was brainstorming. i made an imaginary baking club that is new at campus and needed membership. long story cut short, my presentation was not really succesly executed! Mr. Hellis (my lecturer) commented that i needed to plan my movement. that is his polite way to say that I AM EVERWHERE. it's dissapointing because i had the similar comment when i was debating in high school. but my debate coach was even straight-forward,"Liyana, you need a straight-jacket." but i still love you both, Puan Nurul and Puan Malini. how dissapointed am i when got to know that as if i didnt improve since high school! WHATTAHECK? but as Sasha said,"nevermind Lynn, dah lepas dah pun." yeah, she's right. the best part of all this is it's only 5% for our carry mark. AWESOME!

among all my classmates who did their presentation that day, it was Panda's presentation which i most like. i love the poem part. she even looked as if she wanna cry! seriously! heartfelt! job well done Panda! ooh ya, her topic was Organ Donation. now even i am considering to be a donor. wow, she really persuaded me! my other classmates did well too. Anne (classmate) did on selling a breast firming cream! and Qym (classmate) did on sanitary pads. they got guts! and yet we got a few male classmates too. wth, even our lecturer is a guy! hahaha. funny.

btw, i am writing an awesome piece! but still in my draft though. it might take some time. *wink. kalau ade sebarang idea yang nak dikongsi, ape salah nya."

bye for now!

komik makin banyak. rak tuu pulak dah macam melengkung dah. nak runtuh ke awak? tiba-tiba Mama kate suruh jual konik kat pak cik surat khabar lama. sungguh terhina rasanya!

food poisoning

2010-02-20T14:28:00.004+08:00

ooh my my. my last post was in mid January and now February is nearly over. my goodness! it is true that i am becoming more and more lazy to blabs here. why? hmm. let see.

too much stuff going on everyday that even i dont have the time to write about it.
perhaps because if i do blabs here, all my post will be so black, cloudy and not too mention EMO. we don't want that rite? yes, i do believe that sharing is caring, but i believe that i should share those moments which is happy, cheery and rainbow! a very good friend of mine, let's name the person, Anonymous. dia kata, everyone can share happiness with others, which part of it that shows you care for that person? dia kata lagi, untuk dia, sharing those darkest moments baru laa betul-betul care. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
i have loads and heaps of assignment that still on hold. malas nya!
having too much fun with fast-going life right now. although, still on bumpy journey but whattaheck, hidup aku, aku nak enjoy! tak nak peduli dengan drama kau yang tak matang tu!

what else? ooh! UPDATES of my current life;

if God willing, i'm gonna finish my foundation in April and start my degree soon after that. maybe around May. woohoo! goodbye maths, econs and all those ridiculous calculation subject.
i PASSED my Economics paper! yayy! Econs is hard people! i don't know how i pass but thank god i did. a pat on the back to myself and Zaza Zahar! i still cant believe we passed!
i hate food-poisoning! yes, i'm writing this while my tummy is giving me the hell of time! that's it! from today onwards, i am gonna watch what i eat. i gained weight anyway. uhh. the torture of living in a country with variety and delicious food. curse you Malaysia! *hehe. joking. saya sayang awak Malaysia!*
to my surprise, i am still in a relationship. LOL! but .... ;)
still blessed with friends that i adore soo much!
Eika doing good as well. despite the alarming phonecall that make me tak boleh tidur malam.

apa lagi nak diceloteh kan ya? i think that's enough for now.

jaga diri semua! hargai lah apa yang kamu ada.

dead

2010-01-15T07:33:00.004+08:00

please, just take me away from all these madness. i need an escapade. ooh dear GOD. why are you testing me this way? well, i know it is not my right to question all your doings. what more as i am not as good Muslim as others out there. despite that fact, i do still have a strong foundation of faith with me. with that, i believe You're testing me and my family with all these for a reason. yeah, everything happen for reasons. uhh, maybe this is just the bits and pieces of the inti in my popiah.

talking about popiah, today is friday!!!! ade pasar malam near my house yang jual damn sedap popiah. uuu, aku lapar belum breakfast.

rutin harian kini same saja. facebook-ing, pergi kelas, hang-out with dear beloved and friends, duduk rumah terkena tempias negative aura from certain people, texting, skype-ing dengan Syiqah, gaming and sleep less. i soo need my sleep. can i be a potato couch this weekend and just lazy-ing myself at home? i need my rest. looking at my own reflection in the mirror scares the hell out of me. why? ahaa. dreadful eyebags, awful skin condition, pretty much i look dead. can i make an appointment for a face reconstruction?

i need to stop here. i'm like blabbering shits.

monday

2010-01-11T21:04:00.004+08:00

me: ooh hello monday? have u been here long?
monday: durhh! i've been around since you're not even born yet!
me: sheesh! no need lahh to be soo grumpy.
monday: wth? i am monday, it is part of my job to be grumpy.
me: izit? what if i say my monday has been such a bliss? *dancing off happily.
monday: what? that action and words is such a disrespectful thing to do.
me: hehe. nope. is not a sin to be happy on monday you know.
monday: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

today is monday. duhh. laughs. i suppose not to have any class today but me and Jes have an appointment with our human comm lecturer for our presentation this coming thursday. before that i went breakfast with Ezuan. see, how can my monday be not a bliss when i see my Ezuan bright early in the morning. but it is somehow a lil bit awful early in the morning. my dad's kornea swollen and need to be rush to the hospital that night. but my mum insisted for me n my brother to go college n school. so off i go.

while on my way to college, got a text from Jes, uh-oh! mayday mayday! houston, we have a problem! early in the morning got a text like that. wth? all the sudden? JESMYN TAN ERN-LEI! my lil heart screamed! nevermind. saye memujuk hati sendiri. maybe it's actually not THAT bad.

we went to have lunch at mcd after the discussion with mr. hellis. and officially, mcd witness everything. i cant believe my eyes and ears myself. i had a looooooooooooooooong chat with jes.

p/s: Jes, i'll be by your side for whatever happens kay? you'll always have my shoulder to cry on. no reservations needed.

even Ezuan joined us for desert after Jes all cooled down. ice-cream anyone? hee!

i kinda clean up my room a lil bit and found this cd. i remembered this cd contain of songs that i burn during i was form 5 but i forgotten what songs is in the cd. so i put in my lappy and started to play it. 1st track was Bubbly by Colbie Caillat. hmm? normal i guess. but when it turn to track 2,3,4,5 and so on i was like wth with a smile on my face! memories! soo many of them! high school! miss them hell alot! plus the fact that a good friend of mine Atikah go upload all the old photos on facebook doesnt help much. it make me more and more miss them. not only my classmates, but all the people who make my high school life soo colourful!

enough typing for now i guess. oodles of love people!

last 'teen'?

2010-01-10T23:15:00.002+08:00

weekend flew by very fast! havent really got the chance to refresh myself. but time will not wait for no man, in this case, woman. laughs. woman ke? LMAO! today, me, my mum and my adik went to hunt my books to use in college as i cant find them in our college bookstore. we used the public transport. not a weird thing for me laa. kate pun student, takde lesen pulak tuu, kne laa gune public transport selalu kan? ayat berlagak je. dushh! But it is weird for my mum though as she go everywhere with a car. okays, that's besides the point. when we're in the car (my dad sent us to the train station.) :

me: maa, i'm going to be 19 this year! omg!
mum: haa, this gonna be your last year with the number 1 age.
me: that's why. scary!
mum: so, be ready. makin banyak cabaran mendatang.
me: *thinking*

makin banyak cabaran mendatang. fuhh, listening to those words are enough to make me shivers! is it true? duhh liyana, what a stupid question! but have no fear, i am here! tadadadummhummbamm! sambil mencekak pinggan gaya gaya superwomen, I CAN DO IT, BRING IT ON!

this week gonna be a lil bit hectic (i think.), gonna have my first presentation and submit my paperwork. whoah! take a deeeep breath! like i said before, bring it on! and yet, i havent start my revision for my econs supp paper. very the clever laa you liyana! nevermind, as soon as i meet ms.mah, i'll start! and will promise to crack my head! wee~

i'm currently thinking of what to give my sygs for his birthday. hurm? can i give him my oohsoocalled-loyalty? haha. at least something rite? well people, i'm typing off now, let's us all dreaded of tomorrow as for its MONDAY! may God bless you and have nice sweet dream!

bye bye!

the voices in my head

2010-01-05T20:30:00.005+08:00

yes people, i have change my blog name. kinda catchy dont you think?
somehow it does resembles me. food and the surprise fillings of the popiah does describe me and my life. konon nye life full with surprises lahh. crapp!

lets recap about last week for a moment shall we? (we shall.)

finally started class which i can relate to my degree course which is human communication. not to say i cant relate to any of the subjects before, it just that i cant see why a language student like me need to take introduction tp probability and statistics. i mean, there is REASON why we enrolled ourselves to be an art student. but that's besides the point. human comm was interesting. along with the very entertaining lecturer, i think i could have fun with it. plus i got all my neneks in that class. the only thing i dreaded about this class is the fact that it is in the evening. 1400-1530! not that i'm complaining, but this is Malaysia, around that time of the day, its HOT and it will make me sleepy. huhu. nevermind, i'll try to live through it. and ooh yaa, everytime me n jes were laughing in that class, the lecturer asked us to share the jokes. i dont mind sharing, but the thing is, sometimes me n jes jokes are not related-able to other people. maybe we found it very damn funny but then other people might think it is just stupid or ridiculous. isnt that embarassing? the horror!

things i really need to do ASAP! :

study for my econs supp paper
get my human comm 1st assignment done! (not really that hard pun, it's just a copy and paste work but my hand and ass doesnt seem to wanna move to it!)
read human comm book on 'Perception' and get ready for discussion with Mr.Hellis on Monday.
not too much thinking about situation at home as it is messing around with my head and heart. i dont want the same thing to happen again.

another new class i attended this week is Film and Arts Appreciation. very very interesting. despite the lecturer is oohsoocute (i cant deny that) the subject is really cool. i mean, interpreting things that we cant see with our mata kasar has been my all time favourite. hopefully we get it through.

i think thats all for now. i'm watching ANTM on youtube. i hate buffering!

p/s: i luv u syg. i dun want u to go but u have to go. i'll just have to bear with it somehow.

fun in the sun?

2010-01-04T14:24:00.004+08:00

Lynn: [while walking to Sasha's car OUTSIDE the college compound.] fuhh, panas giler Malaysia nie kan?

Eliza: ok what, this sort of weather is a blessing. do you know how many people in the Europe commit suicide and having depression?

Lynn: huh? because of the weather?

Eliza: yes [in a very the-matter-of-a-fact tone.]

today is the first day of back to college. damn effin HOT weather. my skin was literally scream and shout for help when the sunshine strikes. uhh, pain! anyway, college was packed with loads and loads of people. why? beats me, i was confuse myself. i do not have any class today but need to go college to settle my supplementary exam thingy. ooh ya, i have to re-sit my Econs paper. sigh. stupid me.

the 'supposely' plan is for me to go with sha as she gonna pick me up at the office. but unfortunately she didnt tell me the whole details. so i went college by myself by cab. while i'm in the cab, *phone vibrates trutt trutt: one new message received from sasha: lynn, i come pick u up k? i'll leave ASAP.*

i was like hmm. and reply the text. *nvm sha,im in the cab dy. c u at college.* sashareen! dushh! arrived at college and meet up with ewan. great big hug, huwaa, miss laa bro! and saw the line of people at the record and finance office. OUCH!

catch up a lil bit with ewan and he gave some stuff he bought at jakarta. aww! touched! wait for sasha and eliza to sampai then settled our supp thingy. then go makan and meet up jesmyn and jojo. then zaza redhair joins in as she got class soon after that. sorry syg, we all have no class on monday. hehe. as usual, we makan then then catch up with each other then laugh and laugh again. miss this moment.

somehow i felt that i really need this. situation at home really suffocating me and kills all my positive aura. uhh. disgusting. i need my mojo back people! hai-yahhh!

third semester dah nak start. more and more classes.

Human Communication:
tue; 1400 - 1530
thu; 1400 - 1530

Film and Arts Appreciation:
fri; 1400 - 1830 [friggin 4hours class! sure tido!]

Computing Essentials:
tue; 0930 - 1230
wed; 0800 - 0930

dis sem i'm gonna have the same class with all my neneks. except for CE without zaza redhair. bummer. and, no more class with ewan. huwaa!

sudah laa, aku mengantuk! bye bye!

its 2010!

2010-01-03T21:25:00.002+08:00

*berhenti seketika sebelum mula menulis. tarik nafas. fuhh!*

setelah sekian lama menyepi diri dari alam blog ini, kini jejari aku kembali berdetap-detap di papan kekunci ini. sedar takk sedar, its already 2010 and i'm already in my third semester in UCSI. hopefully this will be my final semester of my foundation in arts. *fingers crossed.*

yes, i've been MIA from blogging but i am pretty much active facebook-ing. *laugh* pictures and status updates are all there. kinda fun actually, made me feel connected ALL the time. wth.

actually this post is pretty much just to tell you people that i am still alive and kickin' and will be back to blog and blabs in near time. as well as to wish you all a very happy new year. may we all have a blessed year. aminn~

gonna begin the reconstruction of my blog now.

tapping off now. bye bye!

sasha's Deeparaya

2009-10-19T20:48:00.007+08:00

saat jari jemari berdetap detap di atas papan kekunci ini, lagu PeterPan - Kau Katakan Dengan Indah mengiringi penulisan ku.

if you guys read my previous blog post, you'll know who is Auntie Fadilaa is. SAD NEWS. she passed away on Saturday 17th October 2009. may she rest in peace and may Allah bless her. we gonna missed her. indeed. they (the doctors and the family members) actually agreed on taking off the life support she had on. well, they know best i guess though somehow i kinda not agree on that. but who are we wanna pitch ideas on this matter. i dont have the right. ooh well, what's done is done. yes, we may grieve for a little while but we the ones who still alive are still have to move on with our lifes. so, lets us not look back (though the past is important.) and just move forward. forward. (Al-Fatihah for Auntie Fadilaa..)

monday monday monday.
the weather such nice today. hooray! despite the Emo bomb dropped on me and my friends today, but still because of the weather, it still forgiven. *laughs* (i seriously dont care about people like you, such a waste to the world!)

currently i am reading 'The Rules of Life by Richard Templar'
why? simply because i need to cherish my life more and improve my grammar and English. at one point, i felt that as if my English was rotted and very bad. *rolling on the floor*
very interesting book. it consists of a total of 100 rules.
"A personal code for living a better, happier, more successful kind of life."
now i am at Rule # 4: Accept Yourself.

i think thats all for now, Accounting Midterm is coming soon!
study study study. need to put more effort on this subject because never in my life associated with accounting. *laughs*

WAIT!!!

we went to Sasha's place for a DeepaRaya Openhouse. as Sasha is half Malay and half Indian thats why we called it DeepaRaya. *smiles* here are some pictures! credits to Jesmyn Tan and Jamilah Zahirah for the pictures because i didnt bring my camm that day. ngee!

Jes and si tuan rumah.
takde gambar dengan tuan rumah. maaf.

asyraff. beruang! ade sorang lagi tapi MIA laa gambar die.
terimakasih cz selalu bawak kami pergi makanmakan.
best!

my favourite picture of all the bunch!
but incomplete without Sashareen Omar!

our dearest Coddy!! thanks for driving us!!
i know you stressed naik kereta dengan we all.
TEKAN MINYAK TUU SAYANG!!!
hahahaha.

last but not least,
greetings of Deeparaya from Me and Jes!
thanks for the hearthy meal Sha!!!
i had fun fun fun!

Bye Bye for now!!!

luv always,
Liyana Lynn

ajal dan maut di tangan tuhan

2009-10-14T22:10:00.007+08:00

what a good way to start a blog post.
the internet connection didn't go wacko like yesterday.
sweet song playing on music player. (currently listening to: Circles by Colbie Caillat)
see, i told you. Everything seems going on smoothly except for one friggin thing.
*sigh!* (ahh, malas wanna bother.)

i just love wednesdays. WHY?
simply because I only have one class on that day. *laughs*
rasanya hari ni the first time ever i didnt stay long at college.
usually i hang around for awhile after class and such.
but not today. i have other responsibilities. sometimes we need to do some sacrifices.

i have my CS quiz today. *laughs*
it was fine. thank god. Ewan was LATE. apparently he overslept in the train. errr.
too tired of playing in the gym i guess. *LOL*

after quiz went for breakfast with Julian. i didnt even meet Sasha, Zazaa and Zaza. but i did met Jes. just for a little while though. miss officially single. *smile*
talk hell lot with Julian. he's funny!

then rushed back to mum's office to go to the General Hospital.
then the story goes.....

earlier this morning, my Dad wake me up by dropping a BIG HUGE emo bomb on me. sad news to begin the day with. alongside with rain, cloudy and grey morning. i was stunned for awhile. it was a family friend. Auntie Fadilaa. she and my parents go wayyyyy back. Selangor Shooting Association people. she's now in critical condition. suffering a breast cancer. after class me and my parents went to pay her a visit. the feeling when once we reached her bed is nervewrecking. and i am confused. i used to love the hospital enviroment. but why not it changed? *thinking* Auntie Fadilaa seriously ill. she have all these weird wires attached to her. she can't talk. she can't move. i restrained my tears. the doctor said, her lung is now 95% infected by germs and bacteria. additionally, there's no hope for her. it shows how critical her situation is. but miracle could happen. as long as she have the willpower. i remebered her saying,"there's nothing for me here now." but seeing her just now, as if as she already give up. from what i saw, i think she's just hanging on to give her family and friends the last chance to see her. the worst part of this whole story is Auntie Fadilaa didnt have any children neither a husband. this is what really triggered my point just now. it just get to me. in the car ride back from the hospital, i did alot of thinking. future. marriage never came cross in my life-planning. after seeing Auntie Fadilaa, it made me thinking, what if in the future my situation gonna be likewise? who is going to take care of me? i don't know how long my parents will be around. they will most probably go before me. i dont want to be a troublesome to my siblings. if i dont get married, who gonna take care of me if i'm destined to be sick like Auntie Fadilaa? this question really scares me. another question popped out. what if i do get married but the children and the husband doesnt care about me. it will be just the same. am i making any sense here? two questions. no answer. let future worries itself. i finally dropped the subject playing in my head before i gop further.

"Dearest Auntie Fadilaa, kuatkan semangat. di sini masih ramai yang memerlukan your softness, your comforting words, your spirit. be strong and get well soon. we'll gonna wait for you and always pray for your well being. after seeing what you've been through, you'll be such an inspiration to many people out there. including me. may Allah bless you in the best way He can. be strong. be strong. be strong. be strong. Amiin~"

let tomorrow falls by itself

2009-10-13T23:35:00.005+08:00

[please just ignore the irrelevant picture. just some randomness to start up my blog post.]

tiba-tiba jejari terasa ringan untuk menaip dan suddenly there's soo many ideas in my head. tingg!

though at first my internet connection gone a lil bit wacko but finally here I am typing happily.

i received a VERY INTERESTING text message from Jes.

well, thank god i kinda got an early warning about this. or else i think i'm gonna get a heart attack level 3! NOT! things happen for a reason.

today, me and Jes finally got the chance to have our HEART to HEART talk. *relief* it's good when you can just talk and listen. yes Jes, GOD is fair. very much fair. GOD took something away from us, be it a bad or a good thing, GOd will surely replace it with something better. but it depends on how we as beings see it. two perspectives of life brings much differences to potraying who we are and where we stand. so, let's have the perspective of life which potray us as human beings with dignity, optimism and intelligence.

*hugging beloved Bantal while thinking what to blogg*

today WE (me, Jes, Zaza, Zazaa, and Sasha) had Nasi Lemak for our brunch.
picture credits to Miss Zaza Zahar!
today with much 'proud', i wanted to tell the world that i actually resisted a very tempting invitation! sounds wrong? zazaa having her hair appointment today at Pavilion, so Sasha tag along with Coddy and invited me and Jes together. means, we have to skip our class if we were to go. as much as i wanted to go (to be honest!) but i was thinking about 'setting my priority right' and bla bla bla. so long story cut short, i didnt go. i mean, we (me and Jes) didnt go. ooh yaa, zaza tag along with the others but she went to see her sayang. i'm just soo proud of myself! haha.

+++++++++++++

updates on my 'Drama'

most of the things happens to fall into right places. but the one that matters to me the most, doesnt seem moving in that direction. i wonder why. *suddenly lovesongs playing pulak!* i believes everything happens for reasons. for whatever reasons it is, i will try to accept it as the best way i can. i can do it once then i can do it again. i think i am just tired to play along this time. yes, i admit his game is interesting yet very FUN but maybe time is not right for us now.

me: "we obviously need time."
him: "yeah, but do time need us?"

his texts always need me to think and read between the lines. beyond the lines and whatever there is more than just the line. i think i lost touch in this way of texting. friggin uhh! do i need to find the ooh-soo-called-ability back in order to get me back in the game OR just dont bother much about it? haha.

p/s: Hariz, penat ahh ikut game anda!

sigh is the theme

2009-10-10T12:31:00.015+08:00

menyusun sepuluh jari tangan, meminta maaf zahir dan batin sempena Aidilfitri ini. although Raya nearly over, there's always time for seeking forgiveness. for me, in order for us to forgive and forget, we need to be sincere and honest. that two qualities need time. so that's why i'm a little bit late in this sort of matter. hehe. anyway, my Raya mood just kick-off recently, after coming back from Bali then only my Raya mood came!

sudah lama jejari ini tidak berjalan di atas keyboard tersayang untuk menulis blog. busy busy busy is my main reason. second semester just started, now damn effin busy with quizzes, revision, catching up and such. not only busy with college stuff, but i'm also accidently tangled myself in a big huge giant spider web! *sigh*

there's sooo many stuff happen lately.

i have to stop running away and make a choice. that is what my friends told me. Baqir, Sasha, Jes, Zaza and Zazaa. *sigh*

(1st him)
i am afraid because i dont know him. 1 and half year is kinda a long time. love can slipped away. but it also can be cherish back. am i rite? i mean, if you actually already have a sorta real feelings towards a person, then if the feelings kinda slipped away, you can go looking for it again rite? wait wait. am i making any sense here? and, he need to tell me what he wants! argh! *sigh*

(2nd him)
choice ooh choice, it's not really hard to make rite? i just dont want to hurt him again. i tried being a good friend to him. reply his texts, pick up his calls, IM with him, out makan with him. but for me that's just a friend friend kinda a thing. i am not giving hopes or anything. but why ooh why he take it that way? *sigh*

(3rd him)
you're very hard to read! what's wrong with you? i really have problem with people who dont talk and tell! hello, i cant read your mind! you dont even give me signs or anything. how you expect me to understand? cold treatment and such. tapi bila aku rekindle things back with my past (1st and 2nd) you act soo weird. a piece of sheet! i dont want to think about it anymore. you're now like my brother. thanks.

drama drama drama.
honestly saying, despite all the drama, i do enjoy my life now. really.
there's one day that i feel really BLESSED!
with everything. haha.

+++++++++

enjoy the pictures. it includes my MakanMakan session.

will update soon about my Bali trip.
till then!!!

bright sunny day after a heavy rain poured down

2009-09-19T00:22:00.013+08:00

it felt like such a long time since the last time i lay my fingers on my beloved keyboard to blog.

i've been rather busy lately. sorry.

well, actually studies kinda fill up ,most of my time. (honest!)

for this semester, i have another 5 subjects which are:

Accounting Practice
Economics
Writing for Academic Purposes
Computing Studies
Probability and Statistics

as i am a former science stream student, i actually never ever learn anything about accounting and economics before in high school. therefore, i need to spent more time studying for the subjects.

actually i never felt so helpless in my studies before until this point of time.

yes, i admit, i am FREAKING OUT by that HELPLESS feeling.

so, Liyana is currently moving under a gunfire mode for accounting and economics!

though, at some part, i was like "why in the world do i need to take all these subjects? i'm gonna be taking language for my degree for heaven sake!"

but, that way of thinking wont get me anywhere right? and i always believe that 'everything happen for reasons'.

for this semester, i got 4 subjects which involve calculations. whoah, it's been awhile i didnt do any calculations! ngee!

anyways, Congrats to Baqir, he's done with his first final semester exam. walaupun dia kata his Chemistry paper sucks like hell but i have faith in him. he'll gonna go far. just trust me!

ooh yaa, recently things kinda slowly falling into place. i mean it, SLOWLY.

after i told some rather/kinda/maybe important stuff to him, i saw some changes. quoting what Jes said, "a bright sunny day after a heavy down pour". but what the hell. whatever. following the flow. letting the wind blows and just fall wherever fate decide.

anyways, some pictures from me and my neneks! there's more but its all on my Facebook.

when?: 17 Sept 2009 (2nd sem Foundation)
where?: UCSI mph

from left: zaza, sasha, zazaa, me
front: Jesmyn Tan Ern-Lei

mid autumn of me n zaza

napp-over at Jes house!

happy festival to all from Liyana and Jesmyn!!!

looooove my newest G!!!

ewan si mata besar!

THE END FOR NOW

cermin

2009-09-13T22:00:00.004+08:00

Ed Westwick/ Chuck Bass
in love with him.
can?

mirror ooh mirror..

how i loooove you soo much.

wait wait, do i really love the mirror or is it actually...

i love myself?

i guess i love myself!!

well, i love the mirror because it reflected my image.

therefore, technically and logically i do love myself.

ahaa, i dont see any point of these oohsoocalled 'FACT'.

i kinda spent my day on the mirror today, i mean, belek-belek my face in the mirror for hours!! i notice that my face in serious need of MOISTURE REGIME, my brow in need of another threading session (i mean, wth, i got only one brow? jealousy indicator? wth.) , my lips caked out and dreadful eyebags! but look on the bright side, at least i dont have zits or whatever. *sigh*

just some randomness. mind me ya people..

anyways, just to update some stuff here...

tomorrow is MONDAY again, me happily got class till 8pm.

tomorrow gonna have Economics and Accounting.

uhh, sometimes i felt like ''WTH do i need to take these subjects? FGS!! i am going to a language student laa!! why on the effin Earth, i need Economics and Accounting? and also Probabililty and Statistics. why ooh why?"

although i do feel likewise but i try my best to think of it in a more positive thoughts. hurm? is this the result of taking positive psychology for the last semester? i am not so sure but seriously, i do feel a lil bit changes in my way of thinking and view towards life after learning positive psychology. thanks Mrs. Bing for making the subject such a learning pleasure.

anyways....

last night, i rekindled a looooong lost friendship with a certain someone.

forgiveness as our main topic of conversation.

can i be friendfriend with him again after soo long?

can i forgive him?

well, all i can say for now is, let just wait and see.

although our conversation was kinda awkward
but i have to admit, i am happy for your 'returning'.
may this time, it doesnt turn out like last time.

terbang jauh

2009-09-10T08:07:00.003+08:00

"akhirnya, perlahan-lahan dia melepaskan tali layang-layang yang dipegang erat selama beberapa minggu itu. perlahan-lahan dia melihat layang-layang itu terbang jauh pergi dan hilang dari pandangan mata. hilang ditelan awan? dia tidak tahu. adakah layang-layang itu akan kembali ke pangkuan dia? satu soalan yang masih belum ada jawapan. elemen harapan, satu hari nanti layang-layang itu akan terbang pulang ke sisi dia. tetapi, elemen harapan sudah tidak relevan dalam situasi ini. tidak releven. dia perlu berhenti. khayalan, imaginasi, berhenti di situ. tetapi sayup-sayup kedengaran suara hati berkata-kata. kata-kata yang kedengaran menyokong dan juga membantah. tidak membantu memulihkan keadaan. biarkan. biarkan ia berlalu dengan tenang. usah difikirkan lagi segala 'kenangan' yang pernah ada. biarkan. ia berlaku sekali lagi. keadaan berulang. sakitnya, sama. tapi, kali ini, terdapat sedikit perbezaan. perbezaan yang akan mendewasakan dia."

~nur liyana~

it's over

2009-09-05T21:47:00.006+08:00

hello dearest earthlings!
i am here again to crapp in this precious blog of mine.
quick update: i am now a very proud owner of a white ceramic PSP (haha.pictures will follow later).

the other day (aku takk ingat bila entah) sashareen show me some new wallpapers she got for her iTouch. there's one picture with a quote that really caught my attention.

"someday someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else."

kinda deep. don't you think? the quote has made me thinking of alot of things. one of the things is, is there really exist crapp like oohsoocalled true love? hmm? before i make myself thinking any further, i stopped all the thoughts. why? well, simply because it may get messy and kinda emoemo. haha. stupid reason Liyana!

yet my relationship fail AGAIN. am i not destined for relationship? haha. funny question! like i mentioned what Baqir said to me before, "Liyana, kau paling sesuai single laa." then Eika said,"Lynn,kau kena cari orang yang betul-betul faham kau,kau nie complicated." then MelMel once said,"kau kena belajar setia Lynn."

ahaa, what are you guys trying to imply here? I will end up alone? haha. morbid joke! what the effin hell am i crapping about? ahaa. just another moment of randomness. anyways, its kinda a refreshing feeling knowing there's no more bloody attachment and i get my single life back but still i am kinda concern of what happens in the future. haha.

relationship has been always a mess and such crapp on my opinion. but yet, i still engaged in one. how stupid is that? another thing that really bug me now is the fact that why is it when you really have something real towards someone, things will turned out not well? weird huh? another crappy thing is, i think there's something wrong with me and relationship that have proper 'declaration'.

okay okay, i think its enough that i blabs too much about this sheet. moving on. there's nothing to see here. haha. back to reality!

yesterday, (4 Sept 2009) i engaged in an adult and serious conversation! my first ever one! though at first im kinda too much absorbed in my game but finally the conversation attracts my attention. talking about my future career. haha. kinda early if you asked me but my parents always tell me, you need to shed some light in your pathway so that the light will help you to see what's there at the end of the road. before this all i want in life is to be an independent woman who is RICH and FAMOUS, but now, i want to be an independent woman who is RICH, FAMOUS, and HAPPY of what am i doing for living. clearly, marriage or any kind of attachment is not in my future plan at all. sorry.

by next week, i need to set my goal and such for this new semester. ooh ya, for this sem, i took 5 subjects, which are:

Introduction to Probability and Statistics (1st week already finish 1st chapter,i need to study!)
Economics (havent go to class yet.)
Accounting Practice (havent go to class yet too.)
Writing for Academic Purposes (i am going to enjoy this subject!)
Computer Studies (yet another class of Mr. Alan Hoo.haha.)

for this semester, most of my class is with my neneks except for Accounting Practice. because all of them are dropping this subject. WTH. nevermind.

introducing my newest loyal companion, (drumroll please!!!!)
taa-daa!!!

how nice if we could buy our other half rite?
we choose the traits and stuff. cool!!!
haha. but i believe in God's power.
Faith is in God'd hands. as He knows the best for us.

fellow earthlings that really help me in the process
of buying the PSP. Mr Ewan. jasa mu dikenang wahai
kawan ku yang emoemo selalu. haha. also thanks to Sha and Zaa
for the trip to Low Yatt. hehe. awal sangat pulak kita pergi that day. hehe.

LGM?

2009-09-01T00:23:00.007+08:00

flying alien that currently hanging to my phone.
from devilsrobot.com
thanks to my sis.
she's currently loooove online shopping!

Blackberry Storm
*tears rolling down!*

budak tak puasa no.1
i mean the lil kid not the big one.
adam - cuzzy!

budak takk puasa no.2
haha
oukays,im not being fair..
my adik is not feeling well today.
damn hot his temperature.
haiss,poor him pulak.
*wth! liyana being sympathy?*

around 8-ish pm, got a text from dearest Jesmyn Tan Ern-Lei which kinda make me feel...
umm..
how to interpret this?
ooh yaa..made me feel kinda 'OUCH!' and 'WTH!' weird feeling huh? i mean,i should not and cannot have this kind of feelings! i mean,let him laa. i did the same thing so why cant he rite?
oukays,Liyana crapping again..
uhh,really need to lessen my crappiness. people started to say im not making sense.am i losing it?haha.no no.obviously not.

anyways,tomorrow the new sem starts!
8am class!
wth!
but maybe after class will chow to buy PSP with Ewan!
hopefully!!!!

currently tuned to:
always be my baby, David Cook version

merdeka

2009-08-31T23:13:00.002+08:00

MERDEKA

officially our beloved nation turned 52 today.

how time passed. i still remember my late grandad used to tell me stories about the war with British, Japanese and suchs.

*cutting the crap*

as i flipped through the newspaper this morning,

*i flipped newspaper only on special ocassion*

i saw there's alot advertisement about 1Malaysia, Merdeka and such and such.

*duhh Liyana,its 31st August.FGS!*

however, there's one particular advertisement that really caught my attention and actually made me thinking less like a LGM.

following i quote the advertisement, credits to Maybank for the awesome ad.

*Berita Harian 31 ogos 2009 isnin mukasurat 7*

wahai nasi, beritahu kami rahsia kamu' bagaimana agaknya kamu boleh memikat semua orang?

satu ketika kamu mesra dengan daging kambing varuval. di ketika lain, kamu bergaul pula dengan potongan daging ayam Ipoh yang empuk.

dan pada setiap pagi, kamu tidak pernah ketinggalan untuk bersama-sama ikan bilis, sambal dan telur buat sarapan.

di pesta kami yang meriah, kamu sentiasa di sana meraikannya bersama-sama.

di Hari Raya, kamu menyertai kawan-kawan kamu dan membawa kami ketupat dan lemang.

Deepavali tidak kan sama tanpa kamu yang memberikan warna palingmenarik untuk dijadikan kolamn.

dan di ambang Tahun Baru Cina, kamu membawa keluarga dari jauh untuk pulang.

di Hari Gawai dan Kaamatan, kamulah punca semua orang menyambutnya!

Mungkin rahsia kamu adalah kerana kamu tidak memilih - tak kisah lah jika kami menggunakan penyepit, sudu, garfu, atau tangan. kamu gembira berkongsi makanan dengan kami.

hari ini, di saat kami berkumpul bersama keluarga bagi menikmati hidangan, kami akan memikirkan rahmat yang dikurniakan sepanjang 52 tahun ini.

dan kamu akan terus berada di sana, mengingatkan kami sekali lagi, tentang rahsia sebenar negara kita.

bahawa kita semua berkongsi 1 periuk nasi - yang dipenuhi, satu demi satu, dengan pengorbanan, kerja keras dan perpaduan mereka yang hadir sebelum kita. (this is my favourite part)

dan kita semua berkongsi 1 tanggungjawab - untuk terus mengisi periuk nasi ini, bersama-sama, untuk mereka yang akan hadir selepas kita.

isnt that deep?

well,for me it is. there's soo many hidden meaning behind all the words.

as i am a food-person, this advertisement really got me.

true rite? i mean, food do unite us here in Malaysia.

*which Malaysian doesnt love Mamak?i remember back when i was form3, just came back from a Homestay programme in Japan, the first thing i want as soon as i touched down in KL is Roti Canai.haha.only a few weeks are enough to make me RINDU the flavourful food in Malaysia.*

tunes that currently playing:
The Reason, Simple Plan

its still a long way to go

2009-08-30T22:25:00.013+08:00

if you guys noticed the previous post,

well,i am truly sorry of the madness/craziness that occurs!

not really sure what got to me that time.

haha.

duhh,its like 2am in the morning for god sake!

mind me!

today,still no psp YET!!! ughhh!!!

aku boleh gilak kalu lama-lama gini.

next week perhaps?

the price making me sooo OUCH!

haha.

dad got his Blackberry. Storm. wth!

sis? not yet. maybe next month. she said she's getting the Curve (urr,what model again?)

nanti ade chan laa aku nak bragg. ngaa!!

"haa,that one laa my sis,the one who use Blackberry one!"

oukays,that's just plain ridiculous and idiot Liyana!

my dad got his new gadget, sis will get one soon.

haihhs,i dun want to be left behind!

*continuing writing after watching KAMI the Movie (yaya,call me lame all you want.)

the movie....

two thumbs up!

thanks to youtube!

aku dah terlepas the movie kat cinema dulu. then terlepas lagi kat teevee.

oleh itu,aku dengan semangat nye pergi usha this movie at youtube.

nuff said,tears rolling down.

its good to let go.

feel a lil bit chill now.

haihhs, why is it this time it have to be soo hard?

argh!

sorry, mind me, pardon me, ignore me.

this time, smiling, laughing doesnt seem to help much.

argh!

again,sorry!

cut the emo-ness Liyana!

(disenchanted : MCR)

cant continue with the typing. soo, enjoy sum snapshots!

location: Sunway Hotel and Resort (Atrium CoffeeHouz)
berbuka puasa

*note to self: hal kecik pun nak emo ke? bodoh laa kau nie! relax laa!*

quicks

2009-08-30T02:21:00.004+08:00

it is 2:22am!!!!

and i realised one oohsoocalled fact!

i miss him like sooooooooooooooooo much!!!

stupid

this is not good for health!

HELP!

mayday mayday

911

ambulance!

i know how i feel/felt about you.

but

i dont effin know on your side.

im feeling ouchouchouch till i cant sleep

uhh, 2008 incident seems to repeating itself!

whattheeffinHELL?

attention to mr.him:

i miss you

saya rindu kamu

i am sorry

yes,i know words dont really cut it,

but this is who i am, i cant really change it.

sorry

p/s: now i reallyreallyreally need PSP, or else i'll go mad thinking of this stupid idiot stuff!!!!

(bottom of the ocean: Miley Cyrus / naive : The Kooks)

sleep in

2009-08-29T22:26:00.005+08:00

wake up damn late today. around 1400hrs!! if it isnt for my mum storming into my room, maybe i will continue sleeping until i dunno what time.haha.it have been awhile i didnt enjoy a looooong sleep in session likewise.

what a refreshing feeling.ngaaa!

i didnt even remember whether i wake up for sahur or not.sleep kinda late the night before.why?

well,simply because i cant really sleep.IM-ing with madd,talk to my neneks,talk to Baqir,called Eika and finally called Shadiq after sooooooo effin long didnt talk to him.

thanks soooo much everybody because layan-ing me.

is it sooooo damn obvious i am lonely?ngahaha.
phones are awfully quiet today and i think it will be such way in days to come.too bad.

as i learn in positive psychology, we always need to see things in a different perspectives when things doesnt really go well or doesnt go the way we wanted. this is what we need to do for our first assignment in positive psychology.interesting?yes,definitely.

phone quiet equals to less usage which will save money.

save money equals to more money equals to PlaystationPortable and clothes! and shoes! and bags! a very goood equation! haha. me likey!

anyways..

final's result are coming out one by one.

such a irritating feeling to wait for it.

ooh how i hate WAITING!!!!

so far, i have gotten my :

islamic studies : 82 (A)
positive psychology : 76 (B+)
office application : 72 (B)

its kinda okay i guess.

now waiting for Malaysian Studies and Introduction to Business.

pray hard and fingers crossed eveybody!!!

on Friday,i met with a very interesting lady.

currently looving this thingy:

name: REVLON Nailcolor (181 Sandstorm)
thanks to my sis!

*going to Sunway tomorrow,dad and sis wanna change to Blackberry! wth..hopefully will get my PSP tomorrow!!!*

bermula semula

2009-08-27T23:37:00.003+08:00

hello people!!!
im here again to update this oohsoobored blog.
haha.
referring to the title: 'bermula semula', notice the changes i made to this page?
haha.
not much,i know.kinda out of creative ideas lately.
after i squeeze all the creative juice from my brain,i promise to come and do some make-ip to this blog.
but for now,i think this should be enough.
haha.
the background suits my mood anyway.
*oukays,enough crapping*
actually the title abit cliche.
new semester starting, new subjects, new friends (hopefully!), new drama
n blaa blaa blaa (i can just go on and on and on.)
but,that's not exactly the main point here.

"i want to put a stop at something i started in the last semester, i want to leave it behind. i want to forget about it. i NEED just to move on. forward forward, no more rewind. if not i will get hurt again and it is really painful. i dont want that. im sorry things didnt work out, to the both of them. what Baqir told me might be true, Liyana + relationship = not really a pretty picture. too bad. so now, better stay out of it or i will end up hurting people or might even hurt myself. but i cant help thinking. why oo why when i really have something real for them, later on things will not turn out good. KARMA? or is it just fate has choosen this path for me? been doing alot of thinking lately, i may end up alone. gahh. its messy and yet very much complicated."

note to self: jalan terus jangan pandang ke belakang lagi. jangan buang masa pada perkara yang tidak penting. tidak perlu mengulang perkara yang sama. tuff up yourself and smile to the world!

alamak, my sentence got structure error laa!
suppose to be : Smile to the World!!!
haha.nevermind..

1st Ramadhan

2009-08-22T23:30:00.003+08:00

officially today is the first day of Ramadhan. means, it it compulsory for all Muslims to fast. Fasting, literally defined, fasting means to abstain "completely" from foods, drinks, intimate intercourse and smoking, before the break of the dawn till sunset, during the entire month of Ramadan, the ninth month of the Islamic year. there are without a doubt numerous benefits of this fasting.

(1) It teaches man the principle of sincere Love: because when he observes Fasting he does it out of deep love for God. And the man who loves God truly is a man who really knows what love is.

(2) It equips man with a creative sense of hope and an optimistic outlook on life; because when he fasts he is hoping to please God and is seeking His Grace.

(3) It imbues in man the genuine virtue of effective devotion, honest dedication and closeness to God; because when he fasts he does so for God and for His sake alone.

(4) It cultivates in man a vigilant and sound conscience; because the fasting person keeps his fast in secret as well as in public. In fasting, especially, there is no mundane authority to check man's behavior or compel him to observe fasting. He keeps it to please God and satisfy his own conscience by being faithful in secret and in public. There is no better way to cultivate a sound conscience in man.

(5) It indoctrinates man in patience and selflessness, as through fasting, he feels the pains of deprivation but he endures them patiently.

(6) It is an effective lesson in applied moderation and willpower.

(7) Fasting also provides man with a transparent soul, a clear mind and a light body.

(8) It shows man a new way of wise savings and sound budgeting.

(9) It enables man to master the art of Mature Adaptability. We can easily understand the point once we realize that fasting makes man change the entire course of his daily life.

(10) It grounds man in discipline and healthy survival.

(11) It originates in man the real spirit of social belonging, unity and brotherhood, of equality before God as well as before the law.

(12) It is a Godly prescription for self-reassurance and self-control.

these facts were extracted by me from here ---> FASTING in ISLAM

i agree and believe of all the benefits stated here but somehow i still would like to make it more into my way of understanding. well, for me, despite because of the religion,i think it is more how God wants to teach us the value of empathy. through fasting, we learn and understand the situation of the people who only managed to have only 1 meal per day or not having meal at all. moreover, we will learn more about appreciation of life and humanity. that is what i felt the need of fasting in a Muslim's life.

okays, enough serious stuff here!

notice the picture up there? at the beginning of the post?
well that's the view from my bedroom window. the window besides my bed.
i snapped that this 'morning' around 12-ish.
when i woke up this 'morning', "aah, first day of puasa."
last night slept kinda late, watch some teevee, solat tarrawih, texting with people, and whateversheets.
wake up around 5a.m for sahur. kinda excited for the puasa. uuu,dats new liyana!
obviously i was still damn sleepy at that time so immediately after eating sahur i went straight to my room. rollroll on my bed and stared at the ceiling for quite some time then i checked my phones.
SonyErricsonW890i: new message from Sasha.
Motorola V3xxi: two new message from Haziq : one new message from Azlan
so, i replied to Sasha and Haziq.
texted for awhile and went back to sleep.
very funny dream..kinda woke up a few times before 12pm but because i dont see any sunlight soo i get back to sleep again. ngaaaaaa. what a wonderful feeling to sleep!!!!
then my Sony phone rings.whattheeffinhell???!!!!
siapa laa yang berani kacau my sleep???
saw Ewan's name on the screen..
uhhh...picked it up and answer in a very sleepy way..
after talking to Ewan, i cant go back to sleep.
thanks sooooo much Ewan!!!! whatthehell.
then,wake up half-heartedly and look out the window..

GLOOMY CLOUDY SAD EMO GREY

thus, i grabbed my phone and snapped the view.
shower and bla bla bla.
ooh ya, did LOADS of thinking about my situation rite now and i came to one conclusion.
thank god.
help mama with the berbuka cooking and went to the bakery for some kaya kok and my Macau egg tart.
again,i am disappointed. No egg tart..uhhhhh...

THE END

bertukar!!!

2009-08-22T23:03:00.008+08:00

like i told you guys before,i changed my KAD PENGENALAN.
well, on friday i went to Putrajaya again to collect the new card.
they doesnt let us to keep the old card,so,i need to say goodbye to my old card.
"thanks deary card,you have been contributing alot in my life though sometimes (who am i kidding? all the times!) i've been ashamed of you."
as something to remember it, i snapped a picture of it.
*tears!!!*

do i look sad or depressed or whateversheets in this pic?
gahhhh!!!

sooo effin bored in the car while waiting for my dad
finish his friday's prayers.

hahaha.
smelly feet??
nope,just some random snapshots!

wear your mask!!!
hate you H1N1!!!
despite my unstable emotion, H1N1 has been my most favourite excuse to declined some
outing-offers..
soooo sorry guys,im just not really up to it..
bad timing

my dad!!!

dearest sem break!

2009-08-19T22:30:00.008+08:00

hello sem break!!!welcome-welcome!!!
though the break is here but i still dun really have any thing plan yet.
maybe going to take my driving classes
and
going to change my KAD PENGENALAN!!!!
the picture is sooo kiddy.
i mean,"what in the world?do i really look like this back then?ooh my!"
now in college,not many of my friends have seen my KAD PENGENALAN.
well,of course my schoolmates seen it before and i am 199% sure they were laughing their heads off when saw the kiddy picture.well,hopefully after this i wont face any problems when involving my KAD PENGENALAN.
my last paper was positive psychology on 18th August 2009.
among my neneks,me and jes finish our exams last.
while me and jes crammed our brain for PP,sasha and zazaa happily doing anything but study.
*flashback!*
when to college by shuttle in the morning as the exams starts at 10am.
jes told me that she gonna wait for me at the shuttle point.
earlier that morning felt very energetic and more myself.
arrived at college and frantically look for Jesmyn Tan Ern-Lei!
whoops?where is she? MIA?
call and call and call,still cant reach.
then out of nowhere she appeared.
wth?ooh,she went to play some piano.
went to take some 'light' breakfast and lepak-ing at one of the piano room.
chitt-chatt and play some piano...
enjoy the pictures!!!

*trutt trutt trutt*
hunz calling

our favourite song: Kau Ilhamku

uuu,my outfit kinda matching today!
why?haihhs,stuff happens..
i can do it once and i can do it again.
though it will be sooo effin hurting and painful,
i still need to do it..
well,i survived the past incident,i dun see why will i not survived this time.
its the same thing.
what have i done in my past life that i am punished like this now?
thanks shaa for today,i really appreciate it.

randomness!
zaa's hair soooo cute!!!!

pointless drama

2009-08-18T22:03:00.008+08:00

after sooooo effin long abondone my blog,now i am back blogging again. MIA from blog world due to exams,emotional distress,and plenty more stuff.gosh,LOADS of stuff happens!!!!!anyways,last saturday my family did a kenduri to welcome the Ramadhan.family from singapore came for the kenduri as well.yayy!!!cousins united again!!! (missed them though juz went there the previous week,ngahaha.) didnt really enjoy the kenduri anyways, rushing to read +ve psychology book for exam. again talk to fazul about the stuff. sheets!!! i think im in trouble.

me and fazul!!!
he got a new girlfriend again..
uhhhhh...

after finish OA paper seriously got nothing to do and i was feeling kinda down after the exam.plus jes was busy with someone so better dun kacau.so,i headed back to maa's office.walking alone from the train station seem soo peaceful.remind me of last time during high school.give me time to think more like a normal human being.i need to think..about many things..just think liyana. walked on an overpass and stopped there.good,no people.god gave me some space in the world to have a chance to think and maybe perhaps think about the solution to my hectic 'love'life.yeah,i kinda think about some stuff.and tried to get clear view of the whole thing but still cant see the permanent solution.ended up snapping away with pictures.

felt like falling down and die.

wind was blowing soo hard.

metro view

spent almost half an hour here

finished my 1st final exam.fuhh.finally it ends..hope to get good results! flying colours!!!
amiin~

give me some space!

2009-08-05T12:04:00.004+08:00

I'm getting tired of you pushing me 'round
Dragging me down
Making a sound because you wanna
I guess that's why I like messing with you
Putting you through
A lesson or two, because I'm gonna
Before I go my own way
I just gotta say
Leave me alone
Get out of my face
I'm tired of love
Feeling so misplaced
Time for you to go
'Cause I know I'm better off on my own
Leave me alone
This isn't gonna work
Don't call me on the phone
Because I'm all out of words
I'll face the unknown
Thinking about all the ways that I've grown
Leave me alone
There was the time I thought you were the one
Having some fun
Getting it done
What an illusion
'Cause you were trying to take control of me
That couldn't be, I need to be free of this confusion
Don't give me a guilt trip, because I'm so over it
Leave me alone
Get out of my face
I'm tired of love
Feeling so misplaced
Time for you to go
'Cause I know I'm better off on my own
Leave me alone
This isn't gonna work
Don't call me on the phone
Because I'm all out of words
I'll face the unknown
Thinking about all the ways that I've grown
leave me alone
Don't turn around and don't look back (just do it Liyana)
I see right through all your selfless acts
Leave me alone
Get out of my face
I'm tired of love
Feeling so misplaced
Time for you to go
'Cause I know I'm better off on my own
Leave me alone
This isn't gonna work
Don't call me on the phone
Because I'm all out of words
I'll face the unknown
Thinking about all the ways that I've grown
leave me alone
If you win your love
I'll feel better on my own
Leave me alone!

~the veronicas~
dedicated to the two morons in my life!

5kg heavier

2009-08-02T22:54:00.007+08:00

my sunday was spent with my dearest family.wake up kinda early today.but still miss my breakfast.too bad.after my bro's tutorial session,we went out to lunch.haha.we went to kg pandan for some nasi padang!!!!ahhh,heavenly awesome good food!!!!miss mak tuo's cooking.hurmm.then went to buy a new plasma since the old teevee been 'damage' by me and my bro.hehe.then we head to Hospital Selayang to visit my nenek sedara whom gonna do some operation to her gall bladder thingy.and there where i met my most huggable cuzzy.miss them alot since the last time we met.

what a bored face
yeah,i am a very boring person who only writes about boring stuff.
heh,too bad..ooh ya,this outfit was created by the very malas me.
as if i dressed in the dark..haha..

location: Hospital Selayang 9th floor!
my monstrous lil bro was born here.

i did not spent much time 'visiting' the sick people that much.hehe.went hang out in the cafe with my two cousins and started to pour everything (well,not really EVERTHING) to them.well,abang didnt helped that much cz he's having his own hormonal disorder thingy.so as usual kak ngah lead the way.huhu.the conclusion of the 35minutes conversation is i need to break-off.haha.this fact is also agreed by numerous number of my closest people. (i.e. Eika,Jes and a few more unmentionable names!heh.)
cut the crapp!
back from the hospital,dad driving around KL to figure what to eat for dinner.i think at first dad wanted to eat somewhere else but then somehow we did not.hmm.too much in my world until i din notice whats happening around me.ngahngahngah.anyways,finally,we went dinner at TupaiTupai.and i gained freakingeffin 5 kgs from eating there!!!haha.exxagerate much?muehehe.

yes everybody,its the end of my pointless blog-post.huu.i am sooo gonna do this more often.soo not in the mood to write 'important' stuff.haha.till then people!

~dunia ini kejam,jadi hati-hati~

the green-eyed monster

2009-08-01T21:09:00.007+08:00

recently, i noticed something very interesting about myself.
something that before this,
i prevent myself from saying or even thinking about it.
that is JEALOUSY.
i am soo not a jealous type of person.
well,maybe before this i have no reasons to be jealous.
why?
because maybe before this i never found somebody that i really really effin like!
ehh?
hold on a sec..
there was one time actually...
when i was form 4...
hahaha
long time ago,no need to remember the painful past life (echeh!)
anyways,back to reality/present...
a few days ago,
i was hanging out with some friends,
and all the sudden that day became :
'Hari Exe's Return Calls Sedunia'
and officially,
i felt the green-eyed monster inside of me slowly eating me!
ooh wait!
what the effin hell?
i should/cant be jealous..
he is not even mine..
hilarious isnt it?
uhhhhh
this is soo not good for my health.
what should i do?
haaa,i know..
i should not care even abit and start to focus on my finals..
because my study always and forever will come first before anything else..
lalalala..
i love you my deardear final exams!!!
ooh yaa,enjoy some pics!!!
faces of people that always bright up my day!!!
one day without these crazy people make my life seems incomplete...

sashareen and nur liyana

zaza zahar (twin) and nur liyana

haziq and ewan

jesmyn tan and jamilah zahirah

p/s: thanks soo much for making my day more meaningful..

unexpected

2009-07-28T21:05:00.011+08:00

recently, i made peace with my EX-bf. finally, i can actually talk to him without feeling of killing somebody. surprisingly!! we finally grew up and start to act like civilize people. and i actually have fun talking to him. online though, still dont have the guts to give him my digits.haha.sorry.last night, IM-ing with him till 2am-ish. sharing pictures and talk-talk. he actually kept a few snapshots of mine. we share alot of pictures when we were together. haha. not with my effin face laa of course. i bet he delete it all already after what i've done to him.hehe.oukayss,cut the crapp liyana!!! talking to him made me remember how i looove to do snapshots!!!!!enjoy~~~

all started with this picture.
i actually keep all his stuff.haha.
then come along others.

~thanks for the memories Ahmad Fadali~
last time, he is the last person i want to share
my story but now, somehow things change.
we are going to be good friends.
insyaallah

desires?

2009-07-26T21:07:00.002+08:00

i noticed that throughout the years,i always have problem with things that i desired the most.
someone once told me that,"sometimes,the things you desired the most is the things that you wont be able to get at all"
stuff happens a lot lately,and making me think about this saying over and over again.
and definitely do gazzilion trip down the memory lane lately.
what Baqir (my diff sex twin!!) said to me is right..
what i can conclude from his saying is we need to take our past as a learning experience and try as hard as possible not to repeat it again or else you will get hurt again.
need to pay more attention to other people's feelings,
not just thinking about me as i always and usually do.
to do that,i need support and guidance from friends.
p/s: Baqir,aku hargai segala bantuan dan nasihat kau.dan aku sayang kau sampai bila-bila.(oukayss,dont ever get me wrong on this,he is my bestest guyfren!)
for now...
just lay back and do not think about it soo much..
i have other more important things to worry about.
one thing that i think is the most essential thing ever in my life..
my studies...
final exam is coming,
i need to study and forget about this whole shenanigans for awhile..
or maybe just forget about it and pretend it nothing happen?
that's sounds better and easier huh??
but, i cant do that anymore..
i am 18 now,i cant be running away from my problem forever can i?
so,as my neneks told me, i cant be RUNNING AWAY....
gotta face it...
however,put it on hold first...
final is coming:

6 august 2009: Malaysian Studies
7 august 2009: Islamic Studies
12 august 2009: Introduction to Business
17 august 2009: Office Application

quizzes

2009-07-10T21:36:00.002+08:00

THE MOON-LIKE PERSON
"You hide your emotion sometimes .You are a moon type of person. You tend to be the quiet type or in contrast, you are not happy but sometimes you act it out in order for you to not burden your friends with your problems. You've faced some problems in your life. Your heart has been dealt blows before . You tend to think about things a lot more than other people, and you may get annoyed with people who act out without thinking about consequences. You are also the type of person that others often come to with their problems because you've been through plenty, and you are very understanding. Though you sometimes feel lonely, your demeanor is usually chill, and relaxed. You usually are logical, and rely a lot on facts and information on decisions. You often keep things to yourself. This is just one side of you, and you have different faces in different situations and environments, just like the moon has phases."

+++++++++++++++

when im bored, i go waste my time doing the quizzes on facebook.
so far this is my most ever favourite quiz.
the title, "what is your inner self?"
just very funny!!!!!

ace

2009-07-08T20:08:00.005+08:00

soo long didnt update this blog of mine.
busy with lotsa stuff currently.
assignments,midterm exams,friends and such.
i notice something about myself.
my blog is where i pour everything that i kept in me.
so,that is why i am going to set my blog to private again.
soo people,leave your emails add at my SCREAMBOX so
that i can invite you.
just like during high school.
ahh,how i miss those days.
oukays,reality check!!snapped out of it liyana.
sheesh.

make alot of new frens.
currently in a MIXED mode.
i thought i am already stable but then,
i am soo wrong.
haihhsss..
ace,why you caught my attention soo much?
haha.this is obviously my fault..
nevermind.
cool liyana,you can do this.
just follow the flow..

i am a fool?

2009-06-24T16:45:00.007+08:00

Dewi aku mohon
Beri kesempatan
tuk bisa menebus dosaku kepadamu
Maafkanlah aku yang menyakitimu
Aku tidak pernah menyangka bisa begini
Oh Dewi..
Dengarkanlah
Dewi..
Kaulah hidupku
Aku cinta padamu sanpai mati
Dewi..
Belah lah dadaku
Agar kau tahu
Agar kau mengerti
Ooo..Ooo..
Semua terjadi begitu saja
Tak ada serius antara dia dan aku
Tidak cinta dan tak ada hati
Hanya karena aku lelaki dan dia wanita
Oh Dewi
Dengarkanlah
Dewi..
Kaulah hidupku
Aku cinta padamu sanpai mati
Dewi..
Belah lah dadaku
Agar kau tahu
Agar kau mengerti
(song title: dewi ; artist: dewa19)

++++++++++

last night i turned in a little bit early than usual cz i got a +ve psychology midterm today. as usual, plugged in to my mp3 and kinda randomly select songs.suddenly,i landed on this song. dewi by dewa19....
ouhh,how my heart ached through the song...
(haiss,why on earth laa i kept listening to that song?)

then i noticed a few a lines from the lyrics....

'semua terjadi begitu saja,
tak ada serius antara dia dan aku
tidak cinta dan tak ada hati
hanya kerna aku lelaki dan dia wanita'

now i realise something...

something that i should realise a long time ago...

what a fool i was...

(and the name is muhd hariz)

doomed i tell ya!!

2009-06-23T09:41:00.004+08:00

i've been neglecting this blog for quite some time now.
damn effin busy with hefty loads of assignments and midterm exam which coming very darn NEAR!!!
yes,i am nearly killed myself.
deep down inside the darkness of my soul,the desire to commit a suicide becoming larger as the time passed.
gosh,what am i crapping about?
well,that's what happen when you try to juggle all things together at the SAME time.
currently swimming in a mess of:

assignments: Malaysian studies (due 9 july) islamic studies (individual:due 6 july) positive psychology (group:due 3 august) intro to business (due 23 july). yes,i am very much concern of my due dates!!!!! but look on the bright side,at least i've completed and done 2 of my other assignments.2 down just nother 45 to go.sheet!!!!
mixed emotions/feelings and all the crappy dovey-dovey stuff.all thanks to a VERY good fren of mine,who really making things worst for me.haiss,why why you have to tell me?can't you just keep to yourself?sheesh!!!
feeling guilty towards a few people around me.
damn missing Eika.she herself stuck in a pile of sheet just like me.well,i only pray the best for her...
i have 2 midterms this week.positive psychology on 24 June (damn!its tomorrow!!have i done all the reading???hmmm??).and business on 26 june,friday!!!!havent read yet.nooooo!!!!

oukayss,lets face it..i am doomed!!!!!
typing off to doomed myself in the pile of mess.
negativity, sorrow,pain,worries controlling me!!!
anyway,dooms outt..
chiao~~

to be clamp or not to be clamp.

2009-06-19T23:00:00.010+08:00

last wednesday, i hitch a ride with sha after our business discussion.
HILARIOUS!!!!
we were all in the car..
me,zazaa,jess n sha..
suddenly zazaa's 'KEEN' eyes saw a metal thingy near sha's tyre..
then "OMG SHA,THEY CLAMPED UR CAR!!!!!"
cz,sha 'accidently' park at the reserved parking space.
and we have to wait like half an hour for the person to unclamped the car.
and sha kena pay like RM**. effin!!!!
and btw,i survived sashareen's driving.hahaha.

eyes on the road!!!

smilling monalisa on wheels..

zazaa za co-pilot..

"gawd,i am soooo DEAD!!!" monolog dalaman Liyana.

that's what happen on wednesday..
and continuing our friday makan session.
following pictures:

jes MIA, unstable emotional malfunction.

close eyes-open wide eyes

open eyes-close eyes
jes,wider please!!!
heee..my cute-cute 'sooo common' beshtie!!!

taa-daa!!!!
presenting..ms.elyna!!!!
sooo AYU dis girl..
sooo many admirers summore..
always on the phone (text/talk) and stix wit mr.vitesh!!!
hahaha..

opsss,where are our heads???
arghhhh,headless creature!!!!
haizzz,i need to practice my camwhoring skill more..
zaa,jes help me!!!!!!!!!

+++++++++++++

today was fun.met up wit BO at the station and he send me to college..huwaaa..misss that big guy damn much laa..he gemok already!!!hahaha..to BO: "no matter what size you are,i will always LAVE you.haha."
then tonight,BAQIR called and we chat for 55minutes non stop!!!!!hahaha.a lot to catch up..he's in TPM now..great!!!very near rite????

updates

2009-06-13T22:09:00.011+08:00

friday is my most favourite day of the week cz friday is the day that me and my girls can spend more time together.these pictures was taken on friday (duhh!!) before intro to business lecture!!!we sneak into one of the many piano room at UCSI Music School.although get busted once but still soooo DEGIL still wanna play.while Jes and Sha busy with the piano, me and za camwhore with the mirror.haha.elyna,hmm?dis girl really stick to her phone always.aiiyakk!!!haha. you can check out za's page (http://zazaajamil.blogspot.com) to see what we do there besides camwhoring.haha.enjoy!!!!

my most fave picture!!!!greatt job laaa zazaaaa.

waffle is loove.yes!!!!

today got a text from Eika, she told what's up with her now..
i realised that i miss her derely..
feeling incomplete without her..me and Eika Form 5 2008

+++++++++++++

JAMILAH ZAHIRAH IS TURNING 18 TODAY!!!!!

hectic study life.

2009-06-12T11:19:00.004+08:00

currently sitting in the library.
trying to find some inspiration to write.
college life is hectic now....
assignments piling up like the Mount Kinabalu.
to make things worse, due date is coming near.
plus, not feeling so good now.
running nose. and my face looks like HELL.
lets take a peep into my piled up assignments.

Islamic studies: individual (6 July) / group (22 June)
positive psychology: individual (24 June) / group (3 August)
Malaysian studies: group (9 July)
introduction to business: group (23 July)

haisss, my due dates are killing me!!!!
plus mid-term exam is coming too.
crazy laaa.
i am going to be thick toast!!!
i am currently jugging with a lot of stuff now.
just the other day, 'met' up with someone and received a funny/shocking/awkward news.
?????????????????
story mory the morning glory much later...

music feeds my soul.
Liyana currently longed for a good night sleep!!!!!
kinda excited for tomorrow, IPSC Open at PGA Cheras.

escape from KL

2009-06-08T21:13:00.002+08:00

mood: afraid of own self feelings. started questioning myself. my bantal is the bestest companion.

cuti sekolah menjadi pilihan ramai orang untuk melangsungkan perkahwinan. tapi, aku takk pergi banyak pun. just my mum and dad were busy with the weddings. friend's children and relatives. last Sunday, i went to a wedding of one of my mum's side relatives in Perak. i'm not sure who is getting married and i dun even care. i just want to go to have a loong journey in the car.why??well, recently,i did not have enough sleep because somehow i do not feel comfy enough to sleep in my room.weird!!! and i always looove sleeping in cars. most favourite car for me to sleep in are my sis's car and my dad's black car.wahhh,the pleasure of sleeping in those cars are PHENOMENAL!!!
to go to the wedding, my dad did not use the highway for some reason.so, we use the other road which have more scenary to see, more stalls/eating place to eat and stuff laa.
we drove through Kuala Selangor and a few more place that i couldnt remember the name (scuse me for geographical error and ignorance) and saw many breathtaking views of the paddy fields and other plantations. it was very nice to change the views sometimes. usually, i treat my eyes with the views of concrete bulidings and sticking my eyes to the electronic screens, now, i am giving my eyes some vacations by treating it with a more calm and beautiful scenary.hahas.
we even stopped by the Bukit Malawati, a historical place. and went for a short sight seeing. yes,i gained many knowledge and facts about the incident happened there. i just looove history.yup,no kidding. at the Bukit Malawati, there is one small town (my dad said it is a 'pekan') that is soo quiet eventhough there's alot of people and cars around. the vibes of the small town is very relaxed and slow. very different from KL. no traffic jams,no weird-mannered drivers honking around, no freaky looking teens parading the street and just plain slow and relaxed enviroment. it is very nice to escape from the hustle bustle of KL for awhile. but somehow, that kind of enviroment does not suited me.hehe. kadang-kadang can laa,if staying longer,umm,dun think soo.
the wedding is nice (sort of) but still have to faced a few abnoxious people. sorry,i dun snap any pictures.dun feel like it.hahas.plus, i just wanna tell y'all about the journey.hehe.

monday,back to college and began to faced the reality check of KL. slapped in the face!!! wake up Liyana!!! it's MONDAY!!!

6 June 2009: met wit boyfie and get a very 'umm?' feelings.

7 June 2009: shared a conversation that involved emotion and feelings with someone. old flame?nahh, former teamate/classmate/a person who i loooved to annoy back at school.a conversation that scared me a lil bit.

8 June 2009: teamed up with comrades. and a kinda normal day at college.except for me being a bit slow/tired. IS class suddenly become very havoc and nice.haha.wth with the lec?????

now freaking out by assignments due dates!!! and just wanna live my life by the flow...

that's all for now!!!!!

hanya untuk hidangan mata

2009-06-06T20:45:00.012+08:00

currently having writer's blockage!!ughh,hate it.haha.people always said that a picture worth a thousand words.so now i have 10 pictures,that means,i have like 10 thousand words!!!yayy!!!note: this is just randomness of my everyday life.enjoy....

me,jesjes,zazaa
incomplete without sasha
friday, 5th June 2009

me and zazaa

today, 6th june 2009
with ridhuan,my sis's petbro.
we are like cats and dogs!!
wth!!!

a walk to remember to the student council

frankly i dunno what is this creature,but its
hanging on zaa's pencil case!!
cow? donkey?dilemma..
bored in islamic class (=.=)''

sha in islamic class.
whoa,concentrate izit???
hehehe.

prom king/prom queen audition. (i think laa)
also the talent show finalist performed.

dumdumdum!!!
current display picture on YM and MSN

aaron
why people say him very annoying??
hmm???

coddy
dude,tanx cz laughing to the max with us.
u make the waiting much more desireable.
hahas.

maybe she's right, we need to give chance to each other.and maybe he's right too,not seeing each other often may effect the relationship.but no worries now, things been better. alhamdulillah...btw,i miss my Eika damn much!!! aiyoo,perempuan,bile daa mau balik KL??haiss,jauh naaa laa ko..haha..

cute stuff

2009-05-30T17:10:00.004+08:00

i am suppose to start on my +ve psycho assignment,but somehow,i cant even think of anything.YET.ze mood of open-up doesnt really in my head yet.hahas.ohh,what the hell.today i woke up rather early for a saturday,despite last night i slept kinda late.i don't even remember what did i do last night.hahas.short-term memory lost much?hehe.old lady.then, my mum and my sis went to our old neighbourhood.so,the house was left to me and my dad.WHAT?no lil monstrous brother???what a joy!!!!then,while taking my bath (how i dreaded bath-times,yes,i am soo malas to mandi,any problem?) my dad called saying that he is going out to do some errands.yesyes the whole house to myself.wahaha.ze day started with a Nasi Lemak Rendang.hehe.i can feel all the fat clumping at my hip!!!whatta??then watch the hell LOADS of telly.hahas.revenge is all MINE.its great not having monstrous lil brother snatching and rebut-ing ze beloved remote control with me.that child is seriously in need of professional help.haizz.the torture.then do some housework then buried my face into ze pengajian malaysia book.ouhh,mid-term is near.then i felt sleepy,darn it!!! this is becoming a habit.its like a dreadful mathematical equation:

Liyana + study = SLEEP

this never happens to me before,i used to love studying.whatta?such geek/nerd huh?hehe.what to do,i love burying my face into books.haha.maybe i lost my study momentum.hah??
btw,i am kinda freaking outt of all the assignment i've got!!!but somehow kinda excited about it too.haha.mixed feelings alert!!!
the other day,me n my sis went to Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka to buy some books for our islamic studies assignment and it ended up as islamic books spree.whatta!!!my mum surely proud of us.hahaha.for the assignment i am pairing wit Sasha.

and we choosed to do 'sistem permasalahan keluarga islam di Malaysia pada masa kini'.so i bought a few books on family and islamic family law.ze books:

The Islamic Family, A General View - Muhammad Abdul Rauf
Pembubaran perkahwinan mengikut Fiqh dan Undang-undang keluarga islam - Salleh Ismail
Institusi kekeluargaan islam - Mustafa Haji Daud
kekeluargaan dalam islam - Khurshid Ahmad

i need to start reading and ask sha to do some research on the net.seriously a lot assignment going on.malaysian studies,thank god me grouping with jes and vincent.so far,islamic studies due date is the nearest.haisss..
oukayss,enuff with the studies and serious stuff...

i am officially in LOVE with these cute thingies!!!
its actually pins.
soo cute rite???
need to buy more later!!!!

kinda fancy some people now.
whatta????
snap out of it Liyana!!!!!

new baby!!!

2009-05-28T22:31:00.012+08:00

hello people!!!!
its me saying high!!!
i really mean HIGH!!!
feeling HIGHly hyper rite now!!!
ze pic tells it all.
i dun really do that.
hahas.cause of zes HIGHness: new PHONE,baby!!!!

kepoyoan..
testing ze camera
my GOD,my room looks orange!!!!
or izit peach???
hehehe

hehehe.
something we did in positive psychology class
then me n jes decided to give to sha.
she love it!!!

jes's artwork
we feel really kindergarten

my most favourite part of jes artwork.

what makes jes happy.

what make ME happy..
a small part of it.
hehehe.

mine
light bulb
friends!!!

JesMyn

zaza
gerl, u r so strong!!!!
tanx for sharing...
ngeeee.

mr.richard!!!
our bestguybuddy.
same as vincent!!!

note: will update with more words and less pics next tyme.till then...toodles!!!!!!

comrades

2009-05-26T21:18:00.006+08:00

today i had much fun.we even found another new comrade.zaza!!!
(note to jes: not ze red-haired zaza okays?)
she is soooo funny!!!!
despite today,jes a bit disturbed by the 'NEWS' i told her,everything seem fine.
i dun even feel like spooning anyone's eye out.hahas.
recently, me and sha are kinda planning about our next sem subjects.
cz we want to be in the same class together.
jes said,"mid-term pun belum,and you guys already planning for next sem?tak sabar nak graduate ke?"
fact: jes a bit funny speak in malay.but its cute!!!!
OMG.
tomorrowtomorrowtomorrow!!!
anyways,enjoy the pictures!!!!!

during intro to bznz
from left: Elyna,Sha,Zaza,Jes

wth!!! sha is concentrating????hahas.
za,dun be fooled!!!she is soo not listening..we were passing notes
about the girl who was wearing wig!!!damn distracting.
jes,hehe,trust me,this girl is posing for the camera!!!
hahaha.

during Earth-hour in bznz class!!!
class suddenly went dark.
jes watch.
cannot snap pictures cz its kinda dark and vincent was
busy exploring his phone till dun want to let us borrow his phone.
haissss.

can't concentrate

2009-05-24T22:04:00.004+08:00

oukayss, heads up people!!!
i am SUPPOSE to read my +ve psychology book tonight,

BUT...
somehow there's a lot of things that seem to distracting me..
i.e: the weekend's DAMN hot weather, teevee (as usual)
therefore the reading was postponed till night time..
when night time came,i merely covered a few pages (6 pages to be exact) of chapter 3..
then i moved to blogging..
haiss...
what happen laa..
got a call my mr.boifie, telling me he will be going to philipines in June.
what the HECK???
why laa this time around wants to go overseas?
don't he knows what's happening to the world rite now???
HELLO????
H1N1 (swine flu)
haisss...
weird case laa that guy..
tomorrow got class till 7pm..
haisss..
sorry,a lot of sighing happening here,hahas.
really looking forward to next weekend lehh, gonna get new baby!!!!
ahhahahaha..
WHAT????
*peacing out~~

hee,its my ohh-soo beloved duvet.
my 2nd most loyal companion.
the 1st one is my bantal
hahahaha
any problemo with that?
if yes,i don't care.
if no,i don't care either.
:))

feeling shittyness

2009-05-22T22:44:00.002+08:00

it has been 3 weeks of college life.

i made loads of new friends and i'm having buckets of FUN.
however....
my life never seem to escaped from drama.
HATE IT
please GO AWAY..
i dun need people like you in my life..
shoo-shoo

p/s: i am DAMN as HELL MAD at someone [hahas,duhh,doesnt it obvious enough?]

++++++++++++++

oukayss,put all the sad and miserable feelings away for awhile..
updates of my current life:

loving positive psychology class!!!
NEW FRIENDS rock my life,thanks guys!!!
projects,assignments are on their way...
feeling cautious of virus H1N1 (swine flu)
eyeCandy-ing pretty much everyday with JesJes,hehe. (Sha too but mostly with JesJes)
accidently let feelings/emotions grew for someone.oOoppss!!!!!!!

long blabbing gone short: i currently enjoying my college life though some things happen (lyke i care)

tomorrow got class.SATURDAY.*sighhhhh*

wanna sleep cz currently not enuff sleep.insomnia???hahaha.

mixed emotion

2009-05-18T22:43:00.002+08:00

after my reading session tonight,i have some urge to blog.though it just my crappiness but somehow i felt like i need to write something here.due to the change of my layout,it is pretty clear that maybe i am in a EMO mood.but not sad,just some unpleasant feeling in my tummy.sometimes i even fell homesick.and i don't even stay in hostel or living outside of KL.*sigh*
then suddenly i realized something,i actually missed my friends,especially Eika.today,we went for dinner nearby my school and i saw the path that i usually take when i was coming back from school.and suddenly my mind doing its own flashbacks.funny.felt like i am not ready for college life yet.but however,life must go on and i must adapt.chaiyok-chaiyok!!!
lately i even kinda ignore my boyfriend.sorry k dear???
i need sometime to adjust and finally accept the reality.
i am still very much grateful for having such wonderful new friends which i appreciate very much.
back then,i am the kind of person who doesnt really tolerate with changes.especially those drastic changes.but the irony is,now i am the one who need to face/make those changes.really feel weary rite now.i kept wondering what my other friends are doing rite now.one more factor that drove me to write today is because today i saw/bumped into one of my old friend at school.he really look different,sad,matured and somehow tired.despite all that,he still have that charming smile of his.and i couldn't help wondering what happen to the others.the i felt guilty.arghh.hate it.today in positive psychology,we learn about emotion.how positive and negative emotion can combine and become the ultimate feelings.then she talk about knowing ourselves from within.i mean,DEEP inside of us.*sigh* that's hard cz it always been a really BIG problem/disability for me to do so.OMG,do i need therapy??haha.oukayys,need to typed-off now.till then.....

pictures worth a thousand words

2009-05-16T12:35:00.015+08:00

okays,1stly,it took me 2 freaking days to upload all the pics.hopefully you guys enjoy it.a picture worth a thousand words...by the way,hehe,i already got a new laptop!!!!!it's Acer Aspire 2930.all thanks to my dearest dad.and all the people who helped me to get it.and as usual my sis play a big role here.hahaha.okays,enough crappiness.pictures time!!!

me, jesmyn and sasha

jes and sha
my two luvly makan partners.

while waiting for intro to bznz class
mr.stephen cornelius.

at malaysian studies
damn bored.

thursday, without sha..

haha,duhh,my picture must be here.
tutorial bznz.salah masuk kelas then got to run to the real class,then we sat at the back and got tooooo many distractions...haisss...

wuhooo,nice profile gerls..

fashion show by the school of fashion..
the models kinda plus size..
hehehe

excuse me,try to snap pictures!!!
tutorial,when we sat at the back,this what happened.
naughty2

mr.hoohoo class OA

this baby will get me a good price for movies.
hahaha

this sem books.my OA book is damn heavy.its 1.6 kg.

and lastly,me,smiling to say good bye...
till the next post...

tiring 1st week

2009-05-09T22:45:00.002+08:00

warning to all earthlings before you further your reading of my full of craps page: pictures will come up later on.recently not in the mood of taking pictures.compassion is likely appreciated.

pertama....
ampun maaf dipinta (macam lagu raya jep?) sebab sejak kebelakangan ini,belog aku dilanda kekosongan yang agak melampaui batasan.aku sibuk dengan Uni,1st week kan,mestilaa hectic sikit.dah laa no one i knew goes there.so terpaksa laa memulakan misi mencari member-member sekepala.haha.alhamdulillah,everything seems to go fine and very smoothly.hahaha.cuma aku laa agak kelam-kelibut sikit.dah memang sejak azali.

kedua....
my orientation started on 29 and 30 April.on the 1st day,just very normal stuff happened.the president and all the deans gave their inspiring and warmest welcome speech.surprisingly,aku TAKK MENGANTUK pun.haha.and i made some friends too.ohh yaa,my Uni majority chinese.my very 1st friend is Fatin Nadhirah.funny story behind our first met.hehe.the story will come up later along with the pictures.then,there comes Miss Sasha Fierce.haha.noo laa.her name is Sashareen.a mix fruit blood.huhu.she is in the same course as me.doing English too.waa,soo cool!!!currently my partner in crime.at first its kinda weird not having wanita named Eika with me but then I realised that we're NOT in high school anymore.like,HELLO,Liyana,kau hidup kat dunia mana ni? (all my prayres and good hopes are with Eika cz she will be gone to Matrix in Perak this Sunday.do your very best babe!!!) ohh yaa,i forgot to tell y'guys,my sis is currently studying in the same Uni as me but doing Marketing.
then on the 2nd day,i have more new friends.Ewan and Darsyini.the Ewan guy is doing Food Science.Darsyini is doing chemical engineering.Fatin is doing petroleum engineering.sasha is doing English and Communications same as me.but all of us are currently doing foundation.basically,i made friends and have some fun during orientation.

for my 1st semester (may-august) i've got 5 subjects:

positive psychology
islamic studies (wajib)
malaysian studies (wajib)
introduction to business
office applications

my 1st class start on 4th may 2009.i added more friends.
but last friday,i've found cliques that have most of the subjects together with me.Jesmyn,sasha,and sara.
futher stories will come along withe the pictures.
pictures means a thousand words.....

love isn't a mere sentiment.
it contains truth, and therefore it is law.
love conforms to our vision.
you'll always get what you want.
so have the desire for the highest love you can imagine.
the only perfect love is beyond the personal.
if you want to give someone your greatest love, first see beyond that person.
divine love exists.
it is expressed through human beings.
the love that comes from your soul endures death.
don't believe anything is more real than your soul.

~Deepak Chopra~

p/s: juz something i found in a soulful lovestory from Deepak Chopra. :))

sekadar pembacaan ringan

2009-04-20T09:50:00.003+08:00

mode:stucking earphones into her ears and feeling 'I DO NOT CARE A SHIT'..

niat di hati nak mengubah layout ini tapi,takde pulak yang berkenan di hati.*sigh* apakan daya.esok aku sudah tidak dilindungi oleh undang-undang juvenile dah.hOoray?hahas,nope.maksudnya aku akan bertanggungjawab atas apa yang aku akan lakukan di masa depan.fishballs behind the glass noodles: aku da boleh dicharge dengan hukuman penjara.hahas.hopefully takde laa sampai ke situ aku akan pergi.soon i will 18.makin tua pulak rasanya.happy?well,it is kinda an undescribeable feeling.obviously i wont get any cakes therefore i wont be able to blow the candles and make my wishes.but,i have another way [hahas,if you're in my shoes,you need to be creative in finding alternative way to make ourselves happy] what way you may ask?jengjengjeng..aderlaa..*gedick giler minah nie,haiss,takk tau laa mak*
you know,i dont really like birthdays celebration/parties/extravagant actually.hahas.that's another way of solving.avoid liking towards something when you cant have it.
yesterday we went to Tmn Equine Jusco near my house,and in the centre of the mall,they were having some sort of kids carnival with the bouncy castles,slides,popcorn and cotton candy.and we saw some of these:

the bouncy castle.well,it bounce!
hahas

have you guys ever been on of these thingy?im sure it is very bouncy,duhh the name said it all.hahas.i never been in/on these thingy before.why?dont ask.too emotional.risk of crying.hahas.i hate bouncy castles.cz i never been in/on it.when i have my own my money to be in/on it then im too old for it.so,the easiest way to deal with this problem is to hate/not liking it.hahas.good solution huh?but,i dont do this a lot now.but i did it alot in my childhood cz i dun always can get what i wanted.this is also why i HATE my stupid lil bro.ughh,izit not clear enough for everyone to see that i HATE him?stabbed to death.

wishes to be a better muslim

wishes for a Blackberry

wishes to turn back the time

cuti-cuti

2009-04-14T12:53:00.002+08:00

hellooooo
i am taking a break from blogging for a moment.
need to find more ideas to blog about.
and need to do a lot of preparation for 29th April.
hahahaha
take care all!!!!!

hari mengantuk sedunia

2009-04-07T13:59:00.005+08:00

this is [kinda laa] the weather in KL this morning.is it not enough for me being soooo sleepy some more plus with the weather?ughh..just not a very good way to start a day.i was in the car and i barely can't open my eyes.thank god for my sister that was driving this morning.even the KLCC and the KL Tower was covered with fog [i think its fog,or maybe it is some kind of pollution effect,haha,you guys know laa,KL kan banyak sangat pollution..]

i'm feeling kinda this at the moment.

okay,whatever....
malas mau pikir...
sendiri salah laa,sape suruh catch me at the wrong timing...

THE SCREAM
right picture: the original painting title 'The Scream'
'The Scream' is painted by Edward Munch in 1983
left picture: me,attempt to be the next 'The Scream'.
sama takk??
you be the judge....
muahahaha *mojojo evil laugh*

katakan keju!!!

2009-04-06T13:07:00.020+08:00

these are my most favourite pictures.teringat balik.*sigh* miss those times laa.zaman persekolahan finish already laaaaa.btw,enjoy the pictures kays....katakan keju!!!!!

recently menang BFF award.
eika

test-test
takk jadi laa.
tyme hujan,after school 'study-group'.
hahaha

aku,tekun buat addmaths
mel-mel,hanya melihat....

haaa,camnila kalau kao nak amik gambar sendiri
aku memberi tunjuk ajar kpd mel-mel cara-cara
untuk syok sendiri.

oopss,paparazzi menyerang!!!
mel-mel ade bakat seorang paparazzi
aku n kimi

ahaa,gaye tak coordinate laa

luv these people!!!!

paparazzi mel-mel menyerang sekali lagi
mangsa:roy n eika

menyerang lagi...
tidakkkkk!!!!

si penghantar sms
jengjengjeng
lastday of SPM!!!

masbab n mahmudah
paper physics!!!!
best-best

padmini n eika
bring it on!!!

bahang SPM masih belum dirasai

fikri n aku
lepas paper addmaths!!!
dun remember what exam..
muke masing-masing...
no comment...

miss these moments...
debating...
skipping class..

class teacher!!!!
chemisry teacher as well..
hate the subject loves the teacher
nada aku eika

ehehe
jiran kelas yang mmg awesome!!!!
nad n adilah

the preparation

2009-04-06T09:47:00.003+08:00

i am counting days till my orientation and college life start.
from this date,there will be just only 23 days more till my NEW life start.
hahahaha.
kinda excited,but worried at the same time.
why?
hmm,let see,maybe i am kinda terrified by the fact that i have zero-amount of friends there.and i kinda dunno what to expect.blurr cases much???
suare di dalam kepale otak aku yang recently makin active berkata-kata: like duhh,ape la kao nie liyana.
so far,my preparation includes buying as much outfits as i can.
hahahaha.
just yesterday,we [me,my sis,my mum and unfortunately my lil bro] went to do some shopping spree.
i bought one awesome turquoise coloured skinny[note:save size to wear is 28!mum will not go ballistic!],3 very innocent polo tees,1 checkered sling bag and a beaded drop-necklace.
woohoo.
the best part is,all the items i [actually they were charged using my mum's swipe!] purchased were on awesome sale!!!
believe it or not,all the stuff we bought yesterday were not more than rm200.
kaa-ching!!!
saving much?
the stuff includes mine,my bro's,my sis and my mum's.
*insyaallah pictures will come later*

i think,my attempt to reinvented/revamp/recreate my 'look'/wardrobe is kinda going on smoothly.
the risk that i have to take?
hehehe.
liyanalynn: 'hmm,however does my purse felt soo light???'
weird-weird.
last friday,we went dinning at the Putrajaya Lakesideclub [where i met the weirdest/kinda cute guy] then i reasked [wujudkah such word?] my parents about my outing with the 4-serangkai on Saturday.
then my parents start the lecture about bad-influences bla bla bla n then,my dad said,"you should be doing preparation for your college.not going out every possible moments you can"
*sigh* apakan daya..
hmm,tidakah my dad tahu yang aku dae la jugak buat a few persiapan?
lagipun,what preparation can i do more other that mentally and emotionally prepared?
okay,maybe a little bit preparation for my clothes and stuff.
hehehe.kehkehkeh.
when i see the list of subjects that i'm gonna take for my foundation,i felt as if my pancrease and intestine all crammed into one huge ginormous ball.
well,i was a science student,and those new subjects that im gonna take are not really the ones i'm familiar with.
ohh well,new life means new challenges.
after all,it is my own choice to 'go away' from the science line.
biarlah,kawan-kawan aku yang meneruskan perjuangan mereka dalam bidang itu.
aku?
i felt more secure in this line.
fate has brought me here.
and i won't dare to go against fate.
hahahaha.
i'm just following the flow.
now i cant wait to get started.

i am currently revamping my wardrobe.
along the 'journey',surprisingly,i did a few noble deeds.
hahaha
i gave away loads of my clothes to ones who in need.
well,actually i gave it to my bibik so she can give it to my friends back in Banyuwangi,Jawa Timur,Indonesia.
it is a joy to see them wearing my clothes and i can see in their eyes that they really appriciate it.
my mum and dad always remind us tat they are alot of people out there that need our help and we must do everything we could to help them.
walaupun,apa yang aku berikan tidak banyak tapi,it does help them a little bit in easing their burden.
plus,my bibik wont mind me buying new clothes now.
kalau dulu,dia selalu bising kalau i buy clothes cz she said there no more space in my closet to fit all the clothes.
now,since i gave most of old clothes away,she didnt mind at all.
hahaha

currently liking vibrant colours and weird patterns.
undefined.
ohh la la
also still love2 flat shoes and mary-jane.
next on my wishlist is the Marie-Claire mary-jane,with alot of straps!
sooo cute though its kinda expensive for something you put at your feet.
*sighs sighs sighs*
fyi,i am still feeling kinda paranoid about someone.
this is kinda a new feeling to me.
before this,i am not the kind of person who feel like this.
well,dulu aku seorang yang tidak merasai apa-apa pun,i dun give a damn what i felt or what others felt.
people DO change huh? another new thing for me.
weirdOoOoOOoo!!!
ahaaa,my birthday is coming!!!!
last year's birthday sucks like hell!!!!
hope this year will be better
~amiin~
that's all for now.
oOops,before i forgot...
i have a new fren!!!
VISIT HER BLOG
she's cool chick..
toodles!!!!!

S.O.S

2009-04-02T15:00:00.002+08:00

i am feeling kinda paranoid
about someone...
HELP?

bff award

2009-04-01T11:09:00.005+08:00

taa-daa!!!
presenting the bff award!!!
ditujukan kepada seorang manusia yang bernama...
Eika!!!!
kerana die seorang kawan yang sangat best.
ka,kekalkan kebestan anda itu.
wahahaha :)

Love/Hate?

2009-04-01T09:37:00.003+08:00

"aku menulis post ini setelah mendapat satu sms dari salah sorang kawan rapat aku malam semalam."

AMARAN: POST INI ADA KENA MENGENA DENGAN YANG HIDUP TAPI TAKDE KENA MENGENA DENGAN YANG DAH MATI (alahmdulilah..)

pada pukul 8:52pm,tarikh 31 march 2009, aku mendapat satu sms dari seorang rakan.as follows:

"LYNN, AKU OFFICIALLY BREAK WITH ****.. AKU PUN XTAW WHY I USED CAPS WHEN TYPING THESE.. WAHAHA!! hepy bt wuried..."

maaf,nama terpaksa dirahsiakan untuk menjaga kemakmuran sejagat.

pasangan yang baru saja breakoff nie sebenarnye due2 kawan aku.in fact both pun agak rapat dengan aku.kisah percintaan mereka ini agak menarik laa jugak,mula dengan LIKE then HATE then LOVE then HATE balik.

selepas membaca sms yang dikirim,aku terus mendail nombor telefon si penghantar sms....

aku: woii mangkuk,pe bangang sangat kau nie?

si penghantar sms: haha,aku tau mesti kau akan call aku nyer..

aku: (monolog dalaman:cesh,cm nk kene early april fool prank je nie?) ahh,kau pe kene
nie?seriously ke?

si penghantar sms: betul laa,takkan aku main-main pulak...

aku: pe jadi sebenarnye?sape mintak break?

si penghantar sms: aku..

aku: bodoh laa kau..

si penghantar sms: bukan weh,ko tak paham,aku ngan die cam kawan je.

aku: duhh..memanglaa kate pn memang kawan pun before this..so die camne?citer2 dari awal..

si penghantar sms: sebenarnye,kitorang memang agak rapuh dari 2weeks ago,mase kitorang hangout,dia kata aku tak bagi attention kat die.sebab,bile die sms,aku selalu tak reply.

aku: yg kau pn satu,asal tak reply sms die?ngade2 sangat asal?

si penghantar sms: aku skang malas nk taip2 laa,call je senang skang.
aku: kau nie...dah la **** tue jenis yang memerlukan perhatian kau.cube kau imagine,kalau ko call,ape lama je kau bleh sembang,paling lama pun sejam lebih je tapi kalau kau sms kan lama boleh sembang.abs,die camne?

si penghantar sms: entahla,tak contact lagi.sekarang bile aku sms sume die xreply tak pun die kate 'leave me alone'.whatever..

aku: haa,tu laa kau,nak play with hearts pun,belajar laa dari yang pakar dulu.

si penghantar sms: yelaa2,aku tau kau pakar..

aku: tau xpe..(then aku cakap sesuatu yang tidak boleh direvealkan di sini.)

si penghantar sms: yela-yela.

aku: okla weh,nanti sembang lagi.membazir kredit aku tepon kau.hahaha.take care beb...

si penghantar sms: ok2.sayang ko gak beb.thanks for calling.

ini adalah sedikit sebnayak perbualan antara aku dan si penghantar sms.da banyak lagi yang kami bicarakan sebenarnye.pasal si penghantar sms takut die develop perasan yang lebih mendalam terhadap **** kalau lama-lama.which,i clearly thinks it is sooo weird and stupid (no offense kays..) and a few more things laa.

aku tak faham.aku juga mempunyai friends yang kapel dengan kawan-kawan sendiri even kapel dengan classmate sendiri.[same case laa nie :)] tapi ok je aku tengok bahagie jep.haha.hmm,maybe lain orang lain caranya.

conclusion is,si penghantar sms doesnt Love or Hate ****.dia hanya masih tidak mahu ada sebarang ties attach to him yet.while **** seorang yang loyal dan sentiasa memerlukan perhatian.aku harap,eventually,mereka will come around. ~amiin....

if they are really meant for each other,dont worry then,everything will be just fine...

individu yang memalukan bangsa.

2009-03-31T15:21:00.002+08:00

adoii,geram giler aku hari nie.kegeraman melanda betul laa.bodoh sangat laa.aku sangat marah,dan marah dan marah dan marah lagi.

actually aku xdela problem besar sangat dengan para cigarette-smokers nie.bapak aku sendiri pun merokok gak.cume aku BENCI SANGAT-SANGAT bile dorang hembus-hembus asap rokok tue kat muke aku!!!!kurang ajar giler.

hek'ala,ko nak mati cepat,mati cepat sorang-sorang laa,takyah la nak ajak aku sekali.memang bodo sangat-sangat.kepale hotak laa.

bodoh

bodoh

bodoh

jenis-jenis lelaki yang habit nye melepak kat kedai mamak.doing nothing and membuang masa je keje.memang merugikan dan memalukan bangsa je.memang orang camni la yang menghalang bangsa untuk maju dan terus ke depan.memang memalukan.

in the middle of the day,on a working day lagi,tapi melepak kat kedai mamak.apakah?takde kerja lain ke?curi tulang ke?

conclusion is,lelaki sebegini memang memalukan bangsa dan gender die sendiri.pemikiran pendek dan kolot.memang tak maju.

eii,malunye kat malaysia ade rakyat camtu.

kasihan.

finally..

2009-03-30T14:58:00.005+08:00

setelah sekian lama aku tidak mencoret-coret di sini,akhirnya aku smapai juge ke sini.ehehe.maafle,tergedick seketika.
first sekali,dengan segala sukecite yang ade kat dunie aku ingin mengumumkan bahawesenye,aku secara rasminya telah menjadi seorang student semula.haha.seorang student di UCSI.tahniah-tahniah.*tepuk tangan!!*
i will start my orientation on the 29th april 2009,haha.nervous kau..hahaha.
aku akan buat foundation in Arts for 1 year pastu terus wat degree in English and Communication for 3 years.after that...who knows...maybe political studies?haha.if god willing..

UCSI,are you ready for me?
or should i say,
Me,are you ready for UCSI?
haha :)

satu lagi berita gumbira yang aku ingin sampaikan di sini ialah,SIRI UNDER 18 No Fear aku akhirnya dah lengkap jua.hahaha.above is the last comic that is missing in my collection,tapi kini sudah tidak missing lagi.hahaha.dah lengkap!!!!tahniah-tahniah sekali lagi kepada aku.hahaha.later aku akan upload gambar full collection aku tue yang kini telah menjadi my most prized possesion.along with my other comics.baru-baru nie,my adik dah gatal-gatal nak menunjukkan minat terhadap komik-komik tercinta aku.haiss,tak boleh jadi nie.bahaye-bahaye.danger-danger.sudah tiba masanya untuk aku maximize security komik-komik aku.haha.*evil laugh*

last sunday i went out with hym for a movie.
talentime was soooo great!!!!
sooo beautiful..
thank you soo much to Yasmin Ahmad for making such beautiful story.
thank you also to hym cz willing to patah balik from Malacca.
i had fun,seriously.
*tepuk tangan!!*

music.addict

2009-03-25T14:38:00.002+08:00

flyleaf's members:
Lacey Mosley
Sameer Bhattachcharya
Jared Hartmann
Pat Seals
james cullpepper

aku currently melayan track-track dari Flyleaf nie.melayan emosi dan mental yang msih samar-samar kestabilannya.hahas.band nie dapat recognition dari breakout song dorang yang title : all around me.agak head-banging la jugak.hahas.noo lahh.kalau di-usha2,genre band nie cam Evanescence pun ade.ade certain lagu die music cam very the passionate n emosi but at the same time,ade gak yang cam boleh headbanging.menarik-menarik.dua dalam satu.so far,my most favourite track from them is 'Believe in dreams'.the one that you guys are listening right now.enjoy!!!
*actually,aku nie xde mende nk tulis pn.saje je mnggerak-gerakkn jejari ke papan kekunci nie.*

ohh my my

2009-03-23T18:04:00.004+08:00

21st march 2009.
juz sooo luving the date.
why?
ehehe.
with up with him that nite.
at Alamanda.
i realized something...
rupe-rupenye dah lame aku takk jumpe die...
then i realized i miss him soooo damn much...[deih,bape byk kali realized daa?]
i've been kinda suckish girlfriend recently.u noe,cz result n stuff...
i'm my own person.what can i possibly say?weirdo i am.juz too bad.
soooo sayangs him...boleh?
ahaaa...
why on earth i can't stop my mind thinking about that night?????
n always smiling whenever i think about it??
da makin sakit da jaw aku.hahaha.
i always been an extremist in whatever i do...
bile aku da sayang,aku sayang sangat-sangat.
it also goes the other way round...

*hey guys:aku harap kamu OK ngn layout ini...simple jew...xsemak pale aku tengok*
wahai perempuan yang bernama Eika,aku sayang kamu tau.hehe.maaf laa,aku takk keruan sikit masa tulis post nie.ngehngehngeh.

kronologi doomsday

2009-03-23T11:59:00.003+08:00

setelah agak lama mendistantkan diri daripada dunia blogging nie,kini aku kembali.
with new hopes and new dream. [note the singular!!!hanya satu saja yang ku kejar kini]
before putting the past in 'Recycle Bin',aku nak share dengan korang semua sedikit sebanyak [before and after the day itself] tentang 'doomsday' 12 march 2009.the date officially became my most unlucky day!

9 march 2009
the media officially revealed the real date for the result SPM 2008 to come out.
media as in.the newspaper,radio and such.
aku?
bahang kecuakan dan kenervousan sudah melanda.tidur malam terganggu dengan mimpi-mimpi nger dan indah.
mimpi hanyalah mainan tidur.
mengalami moodswings.

10 march 2009
everything yang aku buat jadi serba tak kena.
baru ingat nak solat penuh-penuh. [kuangkuangkuang..]
topik sembang dengan kawan-kawan lebih tertumpu tentang result SPM.
planning dengan Eika nak gerak sama-sama on the 12th.
tidur denagn mimpi indah. [ulangan:mimpi hanya mainan tidur]

11 march 2009
behavior jadi makin pelik.
blurr case sepanjang hari.
banyak termenung.
malam tak boleh tidur...
sessi call budi dan close friends,namely:
-eika [we talk untill 3a.m,panas telinge mak.]
-baqir [janji dimeterai]
-shadiq [kata-kata semangat diber dan diperoleh]
-ghazmil [mintak number phone En.Baqir]
-rasyiqah [cita-cita masing-masing diluahkan]
-syafiq [rahsia terbongkar]

12 march 2009
bangun awal giler!! [semayang subuh,solat hajat]
termenung lagi....
wait for eika.
gerak ke sekolah with along.
langkah masuk ke pintu pagar sekolah dengan harapan yang sangat tinggi.
berkumpul dengan x-klazmates yang lain.
dupp dupp dupp....
result masih belum dikeluarkan.
jumpe puan Azlina before ambil result...
bertukar-tukar hugs and kisses.
around 10.40am result bertukar tangan dengan Pn.Rozita
gelak tawa,tangisan kedengaran di dewan Bistari SMKBTS.
aku?
slip result SPM diusha.....
mata bergenang dan akhirnya titisan airmata jatuh berguguran membasahi lantai dewan.
aku terduduk,bagai terkena satu tamparan yang sangat hebat.
junior-junior,Avinash dan Bella datang comfortkan aku.
berite disampaikan kepada wan,along dan mamababah.
mama sounds disappointed.me too.
kawan-kawan lain,dengan perasaan mereka.masih awal untuk berkongsi.
eika dan padmini,sama seperti aku.we support each other and Nada finally join us..
kami sama....
plan untuk bercanda rie selepas itu musnah begitu sekali...
aku dan eika terus pulang mencari ketenangan.
hang out with orang yang paling stabil ketika itu,my sister...
lunch at Delifrance...in need of comfort food...
fasa terima dan redha masih belum dilepasi......

13,14,15 March 2009
aku menyepi diri dari semua orang.
handphone dioff.
mengelak...
berkurung dalam bilik,staring to the ceilling.
hampa,kecewa,marah,tak bermaya.itulah yang aku rasa.
seolah-olah,jiwe dan minda aku kosong.
hampir marah dengan NYA.
diri ini tak nak terima spiritual support.
0n the 15th,akhirnya...i seek help from my mum...
walaupun ketika itu,hati ku menolak semua itu tapu aku paksa diri aku untuk menerima semuanya.
ketenangan masih belum sepenuhnya dijumpai.

16,17,18,19 March 2009
bertolak ke Singapore...
mencari ketenangan disana..
membawa diri [hahaha]
spend time with most beloved cousin,Fazul.
he help me to overcome everything.
this time die tak asek busy dengan girlfriends die. [thank god]
shopping spree......
currently in love with nailcare/nailart now.sally hansen's is love.
kini aku semakin stabil.
on the 19th,pulang ke KL.
handphone diOn...
forgiveness was seeked from dearest.he understands...

20 march 2009
emosi makin stabil.
yayy!!!!
i'm alright!!!!!

~END~
note: dengan penuh rasa malu,result aku adalah : 4A,5B,1E
:'(

2009-03-11T16:06:00.002+08:00

tiada point,hanye cz ia sangat cun!!!

offficially aku sangat kecuakan sekarang nie.bile usha countdown widget kat atas nie makin nak terkucil je rase.aihh,apsal laa aku gatal sangat pergi letak widget nie kat sini?ahaa.itu semua disebabkan emosi ku yang takkk bape nak stabil past few days.to be precise,sejak-sejak media umum tarikh result SPM akan dikeluarkan.hm,kenape aku cam overly excited/cuak pasal result nie?orang lain rilek je.disebabkan result PMR dulu tak berape nak semenggah [bukan la teruk giler-giler,tapi result tue tak memuaskan hati aku dan aku telah kecewakan diri aku sendiri],i made a vow to myself that i will make sure my SPM will be better and i will make myself proud.so,dari form4 laa aku telah melancarkan misi ini.ahaa,sungguh semangat waja.well,bile aku telah mengecewakan diri aku,memang inilah yang akan berlaku.push myself.kuangkuangkuang.Okay-okay,back to reality everyone..esok kita akan lihat apa yang berlaku dan if god willing [i mean if i havent kill myself yet..] aku akan menge-post lagi disini.who knows,akan ade kronologi yang wujud disini.haha.okays,till then..i am off to stabilize my emotion..pray fer me and my all my friends kay..

best of luck to all yang akan amek result SPM esok...
especially:
eika
mel-mel
Roy
Padmini
syafiq
baqir
rasyiqah
nadiah
nada
nana
hidayah

IWD 2009

2009-03-05T10:35:00.005+08:00

International Women's Day on 8 March 2009

2009 Theme: Women and Men united to end violence against women girls
*this theme is the global United Nation themes used for International Women's Day worldwide*

themes through out the years:

2008: Investing in Women and Girls
2007: Ending Impunity for Violence against Women and Girls
2006: Women in decision making
2005: Gender Equality Beyond 2005: Building a More Secure Future
2004: Women and HIV/AIDS
2003: Gender Equality and the Millennium Development Goals
2002: Afghan Women Today: Realities and Opportunities
2001: Women and Peace: Women Managing Conflicts
2000: Women Uniting for Peace
1999: World Free of Violence against Women
1998: Women and Human Rights
1997: Women at the Peace Table
1996: Celebrating the Past, Planning for the Future

in my honest opinion,the most effective themes were 1998,1999 and 2002.although they were just words,but the meaning behind the words really gave an impact to me.maybe because i am so proud with my Girl-Power!!kaapow!!haha.perhaps... there are also various themes around the world in conjunction with the celebration but the theme from Canada is the one which really caught my eye: Strong Leadership, Strong Women, Strong World: Equality.

Content of IWD...

The movement to empower women to make their own decisions regarding all aspects of their lives, including whether or not they marry, choice of professional, economic, and political futures has resulted in many rightful victories for women around the world, and yet the battle is still being fought on many fronts.

If you are a woman, celebrate yourself, your mothers and sisters on this day by taking the choices and decisions you are faced with upon yourself.

Talk with other women, and learn from their experiences, especially those who are older or of a different cultural background than yourself and may have been differently affected by prejudice and sexism.

Ultimately, your life is yours to lead, and if there is a person, group, law, or social stigma that stands in your way because of your sex, it is your responsibility to yourself and all women to confront and change them or it.

nowadays,women around the world had achieve much great success that able to put them in the same line as other successful men.now is the era of Revolutionary for Women.now is the time for women to shine.

optimistic

2009-03-04T14:30:00.003+08:00

"there comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who created it and surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good.after all,life is too short to be anything but happy."

--> my greatest creditz to whom quote this saying,we must enjoy life to the fullest as life is short and just smile!! <--

what's up with all the positiveness and optimisticness?whoa,was that even a word in existence?haha.don't mind me ya everyone?feeling a little bit hyper and FLUSHED!!due to the very hot climate nowadays.ughh..bila laa,KL nak ade snow?harharhar.
i just recovered from fever.i think this is the first time i catch this bug since we jumped into year 2009.wuhuu,1st fever of the year.congrats! *clap-clap*
fact of me: the average of me falling sick [any kind of disease either severely or slightly] is twice in one month.tapi kali ini,demam ku agak pelik sedikit.biasenye,aku akan dapat 4 types of medications : antibiotics,fever,flu,and cough syrup tapi kali nie aku hanya dapat 3 types of medications: antibiotics,fever and muscle relaxant.this is the first time i took the muscle relaxant pills,weird.kenapa?masa aku demam tempoh hari,i felt all the muscle in my body been crushed and cramped.sampai tak boleh nak taip SMS.haha.ouch,the pain,unimaginable!thank god its over.alhamdulilah everything seems fine now.okay,back to the positiveness.i always believe that everything happen for a reason [thanks to a certain someone who 'teach' me this the hard way] and i always believe that don't let any stupidity or idiotic/useless/no good people stand in your way of enjoying life to the fullest.
manusia nie memang sukar nak dipuaskan hati,so why bother to please them?

pilihan

2009-03-01T19:45:00.003+08:00

welcome-welcome diucapkan kepada bulan March yang baru tiba hari ini.tahniah-tahniah.hmm.bulan march da sampai..means..result SPM yang ditunggu-tunggu akan keluar tak lama lagi. *background song: Menghitung Hari by Kris Dayanti* haha.perasaan cuak makin menyelubungi diri.tahap saspen yang tak dapat dibayangkan semakin menghantui jiwa dan raga aku.sindrom tak boleh tidur perlahan-lahan memakan diri aku dan slowly men-transform diri aku untuk menjadi seekor Panda bear jadian.arghh,tidakk!!!!persoalannya sekarang..situasi manakah lebih teruk dan menyeksakan:

situasi A: persiapan selama 2 tahun untuk menghadapi peperiksaan yang paling besar [as all the teachers said it is] in our whole 17 years of living on this surface of earth.huhu.maybe i've been a little bit exaggerating here,not 2 years of preparation.well,some of us might take that 2 whole years but i think most of us [normal teens] took maybe 1 year or maximum 1 and a half year [i took freaking 1 and a half year!!] to do the preparation.well,as we all know form4 is the so-called 'honeymoon' year.time to messed up,tripped and do a lot of other stupid stuff [but then,it look smart] then when we stepped into form5,everything changed because of only one thing..SPM..
situasi B: penantian [i really HATE waiting] result SPM yang tak tau bila nak keluar ditambah dengan perasaan-perasaan pelik lagi tidak menyenangkan yang menyelubungi diri.sambil freaking out about our future.as in,the Uni applications,course choosing and many other important adult responsibilities.not to forget,some of us who confronting/catching up with their interpersonal conflicts that have been put on hold because he/she need full attention towards SPM.

okay-okay,ape yang aku cuba sampai kan di sini sebenarnya sangat simple,cuma ade sikit mengarut-ngarut je.yang mana lebih menyeksakan? situasi A:preparation untuk SPM atau situasi B: penantian result SPM.
surprisingly,aku rasa situasi B lebih menyeksakan.kenapa?sebab clearly i hate waiting and things that seem ENDLESS.plus,aku rasa situasi A sangat menyenangkan.i have fun preparing for the exams.lagipun,aku nampak halatuju dan purpose segala preparation tue.aku tau bila SPM tu akan tiba.takdela nampak cam endless.

conclusion: aku vote for Situasi B

the question now is,korang pilih yang mana?apa pendapat korang?tell me..

finally

2009-02-26T15:18:00.008+08:00

dah lama tak blogging.hah,amek kau dua post dalam satu hari.huhu.tahniah-tahniah.kalian pernah tengok cerita nie takk? A Cinderella Story.Lead: Hillary Duff and Chad Micheal Murray yang sangat la charming.cerite nie cerite lama [2004 i think] tapi aku suke sangat cerite nie.nak tengok banyak-banyak kali pun takde hal.haha.cerita nie so sweet.sampai aku boleh ingat scenes yang ade dalam cerita nie.sungguh laa obses.kuangkuangkuang.

SYNOPSIS

baiklah,back to the tajuk post aku ini.finally...ade satu scene dalam cerite nie.mase Hillary Duff baru sampai kat prom sekolah die wearing gorgeous white bridal style gown.mase nie background song die sangatla best.sampai aku pun ter-HOOKED sama.tapi masalahnye aku tak tau tajuk or artist nye.jadi setelah bertahun lama nye baru hari nie laa aku jumpe lagu nya.ada satu line dalam lyric lagu nie yang wat aku rasa cam nak terbang melayang ke awang-awangan.

Song: The Best Day Of My Life : Jesse McCartney

Woke up around a half past ten
Can't believe that I'm late again
Put down about a quart of caffeine
To start my pulse and then
I grabbed my jeans off the floor,
And I hit the door...

Just the same old same
Just goes to show, you never know
When everything's about to change...

[Chorus]
Just another day,
That started out like any other-
Just another girl,
Who took my breath away...
Then she turned around,
She took me down-
Just another day that I,
Had the best day of my life...

Can't say exactly what it was,
She's not the usual type.
She wore a cowboy hat with the red Prada boots
And a Gwen Stafani smile.
Then she pulled out a pen
And surprised me when,
She wrote her number on my hand
Then she was gone, from now on
I'm gonna be a different man...

[Chorus]

I guess it goes to show
You never really know when
Everything's about to change

[Chorus 2x]

[The best day of my like
Started out like any other]

Had the best day of my life
The best day of my life
The best day of my life

kisah cinta

2009-02-26T11:45:00.014+08:00

NOTE: POST KALI INI ADALAH DICOPY DARI BLOG SALAH SORANG BUDI KU.CREDITZ TO ENCIK GHAZMIL YANG BERJAYA MEMBUAT POST YANG SUNGGUH BEST DAN MENYENTUH PERASAAN.
kire i am inspired by post die laa.

orang yang mencintai kamu tidak pernah mampu memberikan alasan kenapa die mencintai kamu.yang dia tahu,hanya kamu satu-satunya di hati dan matanya.
my personal favourite!!!

walaupun kamu sudah memiliki teman istimewa atau kekasih,die tak peduli. baginya yang penting kamu bahagia dan kamu tetap menjadi impiannya.
[yang ini agak scary.mungkin penulis asal quote ini believes in this saying ---> 'if you love somebody you must let them go',aku akui ini agak berunsur drama/novel but its true.pernah terjadi dalam realiti.]

orang yang mencintai kamu selalu menerima kamu seadanya.di hati dan matanya kamu selalu yang tercantik walaupun kamu merasa berat badan kamu sudah bertambah.
[rasanya ini sesuai untuk semua kaum hawa.so girls,don't worry kays?if he really-really loves you,he'll accept you for whatever you are or were.just shove the insecurity as far as you could,it'll destroy you.]

orang yang mencintai kamu selalu ingin tahu tentang apa saja yang kamu lalui sepanjang hari ini.dia ingin tahu kegiatan harian kamu.

[haha.honestly,kadang-kadang aku rasa perkara ini sangat la ridiculous.tapi...*sigh*]

orang yang mencintai kamu akan mengirimkan SMS seperti 'selamat pagi' 'selamat tidur' 'take care' 'sweet dreams' dan lain-lain lagi,walaupun kamu tidak me-reply SMS-SMS nya itu.kiriman SMS-SMS itulah dia menyatakan cintanya.menyatakan dalam cara yang berbeza.bukan 'aku cinta pada mu' secara terus tetapi ayat keramat ini berselindung di sebalik kiriman-kiriman SMSnya itu.

orang yang mencintai kamu akan selalu mengingati setiap kejadian yang dia lalui bersama kamu,mungkin kejadian yang kamu sendiri telah lupa,kerana saat itu adalah saat yang sangat berharga buatnya.dan saat itu matanya pasti bersinar kerana saat bersamamu tidak boleh berulang selalu.

orang yang mencintai kamu selalu mengingati kata-kata yang kamu ucapkan,mungkin kata-kata yang kamu sendiri lupa pernah mengungkapkannya kerana dia menyematkan kata-katamu dihatinya.seberapa banyak kata-kata penuh harapan yang kau tuturkan padanya pasti dia akan mengingatinya.