August 6, 2008

middle child syndrOme

the middle or secOnd bOrn chiLd or chiLdren often have the sense of nOt beLonging.they fight to receive attention frOm parents and others because they feel many times they are being ignOred or dubbed off as being the same as anOther sibLings.being in the middle a child can feel insecure.the middle child often lacks drive and looks for direction frOm the first bOrn child.sOmetimes a middle child feels out of place because they are not over achievers and like to go with the fLow of things.


LyNn's fEeL::

[sOme of them,often seeks attentiOn eLsewhere other than their Own famiLy.exampLe:: they try their hardest to exceLL in schOoLs sO that the teachers wiLL nOtice them,they aLways dOne their hOmewOrk On time]

[they dO nOt seeks attentiOn just frOm teachers,they seek frOm friends mOstLy.friEnds becOme number One.middLe chiLd is nOt a famiLy persOn.they want other peOpLe tO nOtice and Love her.she try tO make everybOdy tO Love her.enjOy her cOmpany.why is this happen?weLL,since famiLy can't prOvide them with sufficient attentiOn (since the famiLy dO nOt knOw hOw tO appriciate them) sO they gO tO peopLe whO appriciate aLL her hardwOrk]

[mOre exampLe :: they dO nOt reaLLy share what they reaLLy think and fEeL,she gave peOpLe what they want tO hear.exampLe :: a fren asked,"sesuai tak tOpi nie ngan aku?" a middLe chiLd answer,"cun,sesuai ngan OrangNye" actuaLLy she wanted tO say "tak sesuai Langsung,kO pakai tOpi pe pun tak smart" middLe chiLd said Like that because she dOesn't want peOpLe tO hate her.]
Adding second and third children greatly impacts the family structure, and a middle child is created. Yes, the “Middle Child Syndrome” is very real. Middle kids bemoan their fate as being ignored and often grow resentful of all the parental attention given to the oldest and the baby of the family, and feel short-shifted. Three kids triangulate sibling relationships, with one child at any given point feeling like the odd man out from the chumminess of the other two.
Parents tend to be much more easy-going, less anxious, and less demanding with second and third children. Thus many middle children grow up with a more relaxed attitude towards life than their older siblings; though they have to compete for family attention against the milestones set by the oldest, and growing up in their shadow. Middle children have to try a little harder to “be heard” or get noticed. The middle child usually has to fight harder for the attention of their parents and therefore crave the family spotlight. They may feel that they do not get as much praise as the older children for simple firsts like tying a shoe or riding a bike. Those things just become expected.
:: LyNn's feeL ::
i am nOt making this up,this is the truth..
even pyschOLogist said there are syndrOme such 'middLe chiLd syndrOme (MCS)'
MCS is a emOtiOnaL and psychoLogicaL heartache.
It is a chronic disorder and can be quite damaging. Being the middle child means not having a significant place in your own family. While the first-born gets praised for being the first at everything and the youngest can get away with murder due to cuteness, the middle child ends up competing for attention, love and a li’l respect.
:: MCS phases ::
  • phase One = Coping with anonymity.
  • phase twO = Trying to feel special. [make others (nOn-famiLy peOpLe) tO nOtice /appriciate /Love them]
  • phase three = anger + hatred + hitting sibLings emOtionaLLy or physicaLLy.hOwever,sOme of them can't even tOuch the yOunger sibLings bcz the yOunger Ones aLways have parents tO defend them.sO,what can a middLe chiLd do??simpLy juz keep the anger + hatred tO herseLf and sLowLy making them gO crazy!!!!!
  • phase fOur = deniaL.famiLy is nO Longer the mOst impOrtant thing.
  • phase five = Emotional-yet-recoverable breakdown.because keeping tOo much anger + hatred to themseLves sOmetimes they had a breakdOwn but in this phase it is stiLL recOverabLe.
  • phase six = EMO,nO Longer can be heLp.tOo much anger and hatred tOwards the parents and the sibLings.

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LyNn is nOw in phase three

thOugh a middLe chiLd is aLways Lack of attentiOn + Love frOm the famiLy but they are the Ones whO gain a Lot of attentiOn frOm other peOpLe.they are the Ones whO knOws hOw tO 'steaL' the LimeLight outside the hOusehOLd.