October 19, 2009

sasha's Deeparaya

saat jari jemari berdetap detap di atas papan kekunci ini, lagu PeterPan - Kau Katakan Dengan Indah mengiringi penulisan ku.

if you guys read my previous blog post, you'll know who is Auntie Fadilaa is. SAD NEWS. she passed away on Saturday 17th October 2009. may she rest in peace and may Allah bless her. we gonna missed her. indeed. they (the doctors and the family members) actually agreed on taking off the life support she had on. well, they know best i guess though somehow i kinda not agree on that. but who are we wanna pitch ideas on this matter. i dont have the right. ooh well, what's done is done. yes, we may grieve for a little while but we the ones who still alive are still have to move on with our lifes. so, lets us not look back (though the past is important.) and just move forward. forward. (Al-Fatihah for Auntie Fadilaa..)

monday monday monday.
the weather such nice today. hooray! despite the Emo bomb dropped on me and my friends today, but still because of the weather, it still forgiven. *laughs* (i seriously dont care about people like you, such a waste to the world!)

currently i am reading 'The Rules of Life by Richard Templar'
why? simply because i need to cherish my life more and improve my grammar and English. at one point, i felt that as if my English was rotted and very bad. *rolling on the floor*
very interesting book. it consists of a total of 100 rules.
"A personal code for living a better, happier, more successful kind of life."
now i am at Rule # 4: Accept Yourself.

i think thats all for now, Accounting Midterm is coming soon!
study study study. need to put more effort on this subject because never in my life associated with accounting. *laughs*


we went to Sasha's place for a DeepaRaya Openhouse. as Sasha is half Malay and half Indian thats why we called it DeepaRaya. *smiles* here are some pictures! credits to Jesmyn Tan and Jamilah Zahirah for the pictures because i didnt bring my camm that day. ngee!

Jes and si tuan rumah.
takde gambar dengan tuan rumah. maaf.

asyraff. beruang! ade sorang lagi tapi MIA laa gambar die.
terimakasih cz selalu bawak kami pergi makanmakan.

my favourite picture of all the bunch!
but incomplete without Sashareen Omar!

our dearest Coddy!! thanks for driving us!!
i know you stressed naik kereta dengan we all.

last but not least,
greetings of Deeparaya from Me and Jes!
thanks for the hearthy meal Sha!!!
i had fun fun fun!

Bye Bye for now!!!

luv always,
Liyana Lynn

October 14, 2009

ajal dan maut di tangan tuhan

what a good way to start a blog post.
the internet connection didn't go wacko like yesterday.
sweet song playing on music player. (currently listening to: Circles by Colbie Caillat)
see, i told you. Everything seems going on smoothly except for one friggin thing.
*sigh!* (ahh, malas wanna bother.)

i just love wednesdays. WHY?
simply because I only have one class on that day. *laughs*
rasanya hari ni the first time ever i didnt stay long at college.
usually i hang around for awhile after class and such.
but not today. i have other responsibilities. sometimes we need to do some sacrifices.

i have my CS quiz today. *laughs*
it was fine. thank god. Ewan was LATE. apparently he overslept in the train. errr.
too tired of playing in the gym i guess. *LOL*

after quiz went for breakfast with Julian. i didnt even meet Sasha, Zazaa and Zaza. but i did met Jes. just for a little while though. miss officially single. *smile*
talk hell lot with Julian. he's funny!

then rushed back to mum's office to go to the General Hospital.
then the story goes.....

earlier this morning, my Dad wake me up by dropping a BIG HUGE emo bomb on me. sad news to begin the day with. alongside with rain, cloudy and grey morning. i was stunned for awhile. it was a family friend. Auntie Fadilaa. she and my parents go wayyyyy back. Selangor Shooting Association people. she's now in critical condition. suffering a breast cancer. after class me and my parents went to pay her a visit. the feeling when once we reached her bed is nervewrecking. and i am confused. i used to love the hospital enviroment. but why not it changed? *thinking* Auntie Fadilaa seriously ill. she have all these weird wires attached to her. she can't talk. she can't move. i restrained my tears. the doctor said, her lung is now 95% infected by germs and bacteria. additionally, there's no hope for her. it shows how critical her situation is. but miracle could happen. as long as she have the willpower. i remebered her saying,"there's nothing for me here now." but seeing her just now, as if as she already give up. from what i saw, i think she's just hanging on to give her family and friends the last chance to see her. the worst part of this whole story is Auntie Fadilaa didnt have any children neither a husband. this is what really triggered my point just now. it just get to me. in the car ride back from the hospital, i did alot of thinking. future. marriage never came cross in my life-planning. after seeing Auntie Fadilaa, it made me thinking, what if in the future my situation gonna be likewise? who is going to take care of me? i don't know how long my parents will be around. they will most probably go before me. i dont want to be a troublesome to my siblings. if i dont get married, who gonna take care of me if i'm destined to be sick like Auntie Fadilaa? this question really scares me. another question popped out. what if i do get married but the children and the husband doesnt care about me. it will be just the same. am i making any sense here? two questions. no answer. let future worries itself. i finally dropped the subject playing in my head before i gop further.
"Dearest Auntie Fadilaa, kuatkan semangat. di sini masih ramai yang memerlukan your softness, your comforting words, your spirit. be strong and get well soon. we'll gonna wait for you and always pray for your well being. after seeing what you've been through, you'll be such an inspiration to many people out there. including me. may Allah bless you in the best way He can. be strong. be strong. be strong. be strong. Amiin~"

October 13, 2009

let tomorrow falls by itself

[please just ignore the irrelevant picture. just some randomness to start up my blog post.]

tiba-tiba jejari terasa ringan untuk menaip dan suddenly there's soo many ideas in my head. tingg!

though at first my internet connection gone a lil bit wacko but finally here I am typing happily.

i received a VERY INTERESTING text message from Jes.

well, thank god i kinda got an early warning about this. or else i think i'm gonna get a heart attack level 3! NOT! things happen for a reason.

today, me and Jes finally got the chance to have our HEART to HEART talk. *relief* it's good when you can just talk and listen. yes Jes, GOD is fair. very much fair. GOD took something away from us, be it a bad or a good thing, GOd will surely replace it with something better. but it depends on how we as beings see it. two perspectives of life brings much differences to potraying who we are and where we stand. so, let's have the perspective of life which potray us as human beings with dignity, optimism and intelligence.

*hugging beloved Bantal while thinking what to blogg*

today WE (me, Jes, Zaza, Zazaa, and Sasha) had Nasi Lemak for our brunch.
picture credits to Miss Zaza Zahar!
today with much 'proud', i wanted to tell the world that i actually resisted a very tempting invitation! sounds wrong? zazaa having her hair appointment today at Pavilion, so Sasha tag along with Coddy and invited me and Jes together. means, we have to skip our class if we were to go. as much as i wanted to go (to be honest!) but i was thinking about 'setting my priority right' and bla bla bla. so long story cut short, i didnt go. i mean, we (me and Jes) didnt go. ooh yaa, zaza tag along with the others but she went to see her sayang. i'm just soo proud of myself! haha.


updates on my 'Drama'

most of the things happens to fall into right places. but the one that matters to me the most, doesnt seem moving in that direction. i wonder why. *suddenly lovesongs playing pulak!* i believes everything happens for reasons. for whatever reasons it is, i will try to accept it as the best way i can. i can do it once then i can do it again. i think i am just tired to play along this time. yes, i admit his game is interesting yet very FUN but maybe time is not right for us now.

me: "we obviously need time."
him: "yeah, but do time need us?"

his texts always need me to think and read between the lines. beyond the lines and whatever there is more than just the line. i think i lost touch in this way of texting. friggin uhh! do i need to find the ooh-soo-called-ability back in order to get me back in the game OR just dont bother much about it? haha.

p/s: Hariz, penat ahh ikut game anda!

October 10, 2009

sigh is the theme

menyusun sepuluh jari tangan, meminta maaf zahir dan batin sempena Aidilfitri ini. although Raya nearly over, there's always time for seeking forgiveness. for me, in order for us to forgive and forget, we need to be sincere and honest. that two qualities need time. so that's why i'm a little bit late in this sort of matter. hehe. anyway, my Raya mood just kick-off recently, after coming back from Bali then only my Raya mood came!

sudah lama jejari ini tidak berjalan di atas keyboard tersayang untuk menulis blog. busy busy busy is my main reason. second semester just started, now damn effin busy with quizzes, revision, catching up and such. not only busy with college stuff, but i'm also accidently tangled myself in a big huge giant spider web! *sigh*

there's sooo many stuff happen lately.

i have to stop running away and make a choice. that is what my friends told me. Baqir, Sasha, Jes, Zaza and Zazaa. *sigh*

(1st him)
i am afraid because i dont know him. 1 and half year is kinda a long time. love can slipped away. but it also can be cherish back. am i rite? i mean, if you actually already have a sorta real feelings towards a person, then if the feelings kinda slipped away, you can go looking for it again rite? wait wait. am i making any sense here? and, he need to tell me what he wants! argh! *sigh*

(2nd him)
choice ooh choice, it's not really hard to make rite? i just dont want to hurt him again. i tried being a good friend to him. reply his texts, pick up his calls, IM with him, out makan with him. but for me that's just a friend friend kinda a thing. i am not giving hopes or anything. but why ooh why he take it that way? *sigh*

(3rd him)
you're very hard to read! what's wrong with you? i really have problem with people who dont talk and tell! hello, i cant read your mind! you dont even give me signs or anything. how you expect me to understand? cold treatment and such. tapi bila aku rekindle things back with my past (1st and 2nd) you act soo weird. a piece of sheet! i dont want to think about it anymore. you're now like my brother. thanks.

drama drama drama.
honestly saying, despite all the drama, i do enjoy my life now. really.
there's one day that i feel really BLESSED!
with everything. haha.


enjoy the pictures. it includes my MakanMakan session.

will update soon about my Bali trip.
till then!!!