mixed emotion

after my reading session tonight,i have some urge to blog.though it just my crappiness but somehow i felt like i need to write something here.due to the change of my layout,it is pretty clear that maybe i am in a EMO mood.but not sad,just some unpleasant feeling in my tummy.sometimes i even fell homesick.and i don't even stay in hostel or living outside of KL.*sigh*
then suddenly i realized something,i actually missed my friends,especially Eika.today,we went for dinner nearby my school and i saw the path that i usually take when i was coming back from school.and suddenly my mind doing its own flashbacks.funny.felt like i am not ready for college life yet.but however,life must go on and i must adapt.chaiyok-chaiyok!!!
lately i even kinda ignore my boyfriend.sorry k dear???
i need sometime to adjust and finally accept the reality.
i am still very much grateful for having such wonderful new friends which i appreciate very much.
back then,i am the kind of person who doesnt really tolerate with changes.especially those drastic changes.but the irony is,now i am the one who need to face/make those changes.really feel weary rite now.i kept wondering what my other friends are doing rite now.one more factor that drove me to write today is because today i saw/bumped into one of my old friend at school.he really look different,sad,matured and somehow tired.despite all that,he still have that charming smile of his.and i couldn't help wondering what happen to the others.the i felt guilty.arghh.hate it.today in positive psychology,we learn about emotion.how positive and negative emotion can combine and become the ultimate feelings.then she talk about knowing ourselves from within.i mean,DEEP inside of us.*sigh* that's hard cz it always been a really BIG problem/disability for me to do so.OMG,do i need therapy??haha.oukayys,need to typed-off now.till then.....